5 Real Ways to Build Self-Discipline (Without Burning Out or Beating Yourself Up)

Dr. Christine Li [00:00:00]:
Welcome back to the Make Time for Success podcast. This is episode number 231. If you're curious how to become more consistent and perhaps more self disciplined in your personal and professional efforts, this episode was tailor made for you. I have worked with clients over the years to eliminate the roadblocks that are in the way when it comes to getting things done, and I share five really wonderful tips inside this episode. Let's go listen to the tips together now.

Dr. Christine Li [00:00:40]:
Hi. I'm Dr. Christine Li, and I'm a psychologist and a procrastination coach. I've helped thousands of people move past procrastination and overwhelm so they could begin working to their potential. In this podcast, you're going to learn powerful strategies for getting your mind, body, and energy to work together so that you can focus on what's really important and accomplish the goals you want to achieve. When you start living within your full power, you're going to see how being productive can be easy and how you can create success on demand. Welcome to the make time for success podcast.

Dr. Christine Li [00:01:24]:
I'm excited to dig into today's topic, which is five ways to build self discipline without burning yourself out and without beating yourself up. I think it's important to start by discussing the word self discipline. It has a lot of different connotations, and some of them maybe make the concepts a little heavy because the whole concept of discipline or being disciplined can evoke the concept of punishment. And I, in no way, mean to mention self discipline with that connotation. I am talking about self discipline as a personal practice, one that is rooted in love and peace and consistency and kindness to yourself. So we're just gonna stop being afraid of the concept of being self disciplined, and we're gonna start to see ourselves as people who are very capable of greater consistency, greater self discipline, greater self regulation because I feel like there is zero harm in that. Now I wanna mention that the five ways to build self discipline that I'm gonna mention inside this episode are rooted in compassion. They're rooted in principles of psychology, and they're rooted in how I understand habit change to be.

Dr. Christine Li [00:03:04]:
We are going towards wins. We're going towards feeling like a success after we have tried, we've made our efforts, and we've made our plans. And we're going for better way to be productive. Instead of tearing ourselves apart and forcing ourselves to do things, we're just gonna flow throughout the day. We're gonna be grateful for our wins, and I'm gonna show you how to do that starting now. Okay. The first point I wanna mention is that you wanna always know what your why is. That's w h y.

Dr. Christine Li [00:03:42]:
You wanna anchor all of your plans and your thoughts and your schedule towards your why. Because I think when we set up goals and we don't really have much emotion or meaning attached to them, sometimes we get distracted. Sometimes they wither away. Sometimes we don't put our best foot forward in terms of trying to complete those goals. But when we have goals that are anchored in our why, when we really have a meaning behind our goals, a meaning behind choosing this one particular type of goal, then I feel we can really engage our energy, and we can decide, you know what? I do really wanna stick with this. You know what? I'm not gonna let my fears and worries derail me because I have this important reason why I've chosen this goal. So I want you to take a moment, write down a goal that you might have right now that is unfinished or unmet so far, and decide for yourself, let me think about what my why is here. Let me journal about this.

Dr. Christine Li [00:04:54]:
Let me write a few lines. Doesn't have to be too deep, but you just wanna remind yourself why you wanna be consistent, why you really wanna see yourself reaching and crossing the finish line with this particular goal and see how that helps you, see how that keeps you headed straight towards that beautiful finish line. Point two is you want to learn how to be really good at moving forward using micro movements. And the reason why I think we sometimes lose this feeling of being self disciplined is that we get overwhelmed. We get burned out. We get frustrated. We get afraid. And I always coach my clients that if you're in that kind of state, we understand.

Dr. Christine Li [00:05:44]:
It's understandable. We're all human. We get afraid of things. We get overwhelmed, sometimes quite easily. But it's okay to train yourself to step back, observe what's going on, and break your tasks down into a much smaller, much more doable piece. That tends to cut the overwhelm in half, if not totally, completely wipe it out of the scenario. And when you know what your next move is, guess what? You tend to flow forward. You tend to decide, oh, I don't have to really be afraid of this.

Dr. Christine Li [00:06:22]:
This is so easy for me to do. And I always suggest do the tiniest bit if you're really stuck. Right? What is the smallest thing you can think of? Sometimes it's just like opening the door and walking out of your house. That may sound too small too, but you might be feeling stuck if you don't think in that kind of small micro increment. So design the micro movement, tell yourself that you're safe to move again, remember point one, which is anchor into your why, remember why you're doing these things in the first place, and then break up with that resistance. You do not have to stay on the struggle bus. You do not have to stay in that avoidance pattern anymore. It is really okay to be successful and to have that feeling throughout the day.

Dr. Christine Li [00:07:16]:
It's really okay, and you will be okay. Point three is very similar to point two. You want to use your natural energy and flow, and you wanna avoid feeling like you have to force yourself into doing things. So often, when we're stuck in the mindset of, oh, everything is dreadful, everything is so hard, everything is so overwhelming, I am so overbooked, When you're focusing on how things are really difficult in this moment, your body's gonna decide, you know what? Let's protect this person. Let's protect you. Let's get you to stand still so that you don't have to face this difficulty. But when you decide, you know what? I'm headed towards my why. I'm really looking forward to this goal.

Dr. Christine Li [00:08:08]:
I have a micro movement that I can start with. And when you decide you are made for this, you are ready for this, you have a lot of skill, you have a lot of experience, you're up for this challenge, you're curious as to what lies ahead, then you're using your natural energy. You're using your high vibrational self to move forward, and you're really protecting yourself from feeling burned out and taxed and exhausted. We no longer want you in a taxed and burned out state. We want you to feel vibrant every time you try to do something, and we want you to get more familiar with your natural energy and your natural power to get things done. I think we all love it when we're in that flow state, and I think there's a reason for that. We don't enjoy being stuck for a reason because stuck makes us feel like we're not good enough, like we don't have what it takes, like we're never gonna get to those goals. But, really, when you allow yourself to flow forward, you really realize, oh, there's actually nothing in my way except sometimes the way I'm thinking about things.

Dr. Christine Li [00:09:23]:
So let's challenge that resistance, let's flow forward, and let's get those wins. Alright. Point four is you wanna see those wins that you're getting. You wanna make your wins visible. By that, I mean, we have to celebrate our progress as we are making it. Right? We're on the middle of the road. We're in the middle of our pathway forward. But that doesn't mean we have to just feel like we're moving slowly or we're not making progress.

Dr. Christine Li [00:09:56]:
We wanna see that we're really making gains. So make sure you pat yourself on the back, you celebrate, you pause to observe how far you've come along the way to your goal. You may also wanna employ really tangible ways of tracking your progress, like tracking sheets or checklists or to do lists or using before and after photos. I really enjoy seeing people's before and after photos when I'm running my decluttering challenges. They're fantastic, and they're so motivating and exciting and inspiring. So you wanna get into the habit of being inspired and knowing that you can inspire yourself by making your wins visual. And it helps your brain to say, she's got this. Oh, he's got this.

Dr. Christine Li [00:10:52]:
Oh, she really enjoys winning. Oh, he really enjoys seeing positive change. Your brain is gonna cooperate with the information that you're supplying it, so keep track of your wins and don't forget to celebrate them. The last point that I have for maintaining consistency and self discipline is you want to make sure you are patient with yourself and curious when you fall down, when you slip up, or when you start recognizing that you've done something that falls in the category of self sabotage, we have to just normalize the fact that we sometimes make mistakes, we sometimes fall back into old habits and patterns, We sometimes don't move as quickly as we might be able to. And just be more kind to ourselves instead of choosing to berate ourselves or to call ourselves names or to drop ourselves out of the success path. We wanna just say that setbacks and slips are a normal part of the process of getting somewhere new and decide to even chuckle like I often do. You hear me chuckling and laughing at myself sometimes. But also making things light can really help us to recover from those moments when we find ourself self sabotaging or making mistakes or doing something silly or distracting ourselves and getting ourselves derailed, just pause and ask yourself, why did that happen? How can I do things differently moving forward? And get curious with what happened to open yourself up to the self sabotage.

Dr. Christine Li [00:12:44]:
You can learn from this. You can recover certainly from self sabotage. I think we oftentimes do, and I wish that for you. Because you're not about ruining things for yourself. You're not about making mistakes on purpose. You are about success, and you're just learning about yourself along the way. You're learning about what is needed from you to succeed. So be patient with yourself.

Dr. Christine Li [00:13:14]:
Be curious. Ask yourself really good investigative questions when you are just marveling at how you could have made that mistake and just decide this is all happening for you because it really, really is. And when you get to know yourself in this way, you start to deepen your trust in yourself. You start to see, oh, wow. There's so many opportunities I can take advantage of now that I know myself that much better. It is all happening for your success. Just allow your body and mind to cooperate with you instead of having your body and mind fight you along the way towards success. You're gonna head in the success direction regardless.

Dr. Christine Li [00:14:02]:
I fully believe that because we're all motivated to do well. And I'm giving you these five tips to make that road a little bit more smooth and to up your self discipline just that much more so that you get to the finish line as you plan. Just as a recap, here are the five points to make yourself discipline a little more present and reliable. Point one, anchor yourself in your why. Know why you're doing what you're choosing to do. You could choose anything to do, and you've chosen this goal. So understand why it's come to the surface and has become a priority for you. Point two, make sure you break up with your resistance by choosing to opt for micro movements.

Dr. Christine Li [00:14:52]:
You can move in the tiniest of steps, but you're still moving yourself forward. Point three, you wanna remember to use your natural, vibrant, and powerful energy instead of forcing yourself to do things against resistance, against feelings of dread, and dislike of stuff. You wanna get to a point where you're liking this forward movement and you're liking feeling like a success, and you're expecting that for yourself all the time. Point four, you wanna make sure you remember that you're winning along the way. Stop, pause, recognize the gains that you've had, recognize that your success goal is just a few steps ahead of you, and keep yourself motivated by tracking and recognizing and celebrating your wins. And finally, point five, remember to just accept when you slip up or make mistakes or decide you're gonna take a break accidentally. It is all okay. Remember that you can regain your clarity at any moment.

Dr. Christine Li [00:16:03]:
You can be curious about those moments when you do make slip ups and mistakes, and this is all for you. It's one big giant, hilarious, and interesting game. So play full out, play with bravery, play with kindness and support towards your heart and your mind and your body, and you will reach those precious goals that you have for yourself and your life. I hope you enjoyed this episode. It was really fun to put together. I love this kind of material, and I love teaching my clients how to just make success easier. Actually, the name of this whole podcast is Making Time for Success. It's not just time.

Dr. Christine Li [00:16:48]:
It's also preparing your soul and your being and your energy for the big effort to find the success that you want in your life. Remember, you are a success already. You're just building the life that you wanna see as well. I wanna let you know that I have a free download for this episode. You can get that at maketimeforsuccesspodcast.com/tidy. And that is t I d y. Again, it is maketimeforsuccesspodcast.com/tidy. Not only will you get a review of the five points that I've mentioned in this episode, you will also get an invitation to my upcoming free five day challenge called reenergize your home.

Dr. Christine Li [00:17:41]:
This is my now infamous five day decluttering challenge, and it is so much fun to run. It is so much fun to be a part of as a participant, and I invite each and every one of you to join me in this next round. The next round will be starting May 26. And, again, all you need to do to sign up is get this free download at maketimeforsuccesspodcast.com/tidy. I will see you soon, and I will definitely see you next week when the next episode drops. Take care. Thanks for being here. Bye.

Dr. Christine Li [00:18:23]:
Thank you for listening to this episode of the Make Time for Success podcast. If you enjoyed what you've heard, you can subscribe to make sure you get notified of upcoming episodes. You can also visit our website, maketimeforsuccesspodcast.com, for past episodes, show notes, and all the resources we mentioned on the show. Feel free to connect with me over on Instagram too. You can find me there under the name Send me a DM and let me know what your thoughts are about the episodes you've been listening to. And let me know any topics that you might like me to talk about on the show. I'd love to hear all about how you're making time for success. Talk to you soon.