Breaking Through Negative Stories: Reframe Your Beliefs for Success

Dr. Christine Li [00:00:00]:
Welcome back to the Make Time for Success podcast.

Dr. Christine Li [00:00:03]:
This is episode number 278. Over the past few weeks, we've been together in a miniseries of episodes around the topic of hidden patterns that drain your time, energy and progress. In week one, we talked about the hidden dangers of being perfectionistic. In week two, we talked about how time can dribble away from us and

Dr. Christine Li [00:00:33]:
how to get it back.

Dr. Christine Li [00:00:35]:
And in today's session, I'm very happy to talk about the factor that we sometimes forget to use when we're trying to face a new challenge or trying to complete an old one. And that is our mindset. How can we frame our mindset to collect all of our available energy and how to move forward with that energy towards success? Let's go through all of that conversation together now.

Dr. Christine Li [00:01:12]:
Hi, I'm Dr. Christine Li and I'm a psychologist and a procrastination coach. I've helped thousands of people move past procrastination and overwhelm so so they could begin working to their potential. In this podcast, you're going to learn powerful strategies for getting your mind, body and energy to work together so that you can focus on what's really important

Dr. Christine Li [00:01:36]:
and accomplish the goals you want to achieve. When you start living within your full

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power, you're going to see how being productive can be easy and how you can create success on demand. Welcome to the Make Time for Success podcast.

Dr. Christine Li [00:01:55]:
Today I want to talk about the large topic, the very important topic of energy. Because the way we manage and guide our own energy, how we emit energy, how we use our energy throughout the day is really foundational to the kind of shifts we can make day to day, to the transformations we can make over the weeks, months and years, and to the success that we can feel as we are growing throughout the years and decades. So we're taking a longer term view today, but we are going to focus in on energy. And the lens today is going to be focused on developing a positive mindset for success. If you've listened to me for any length of time, you know that I tend to lean very positive, I tend to be an optimistic person and I also tend to work at it because so much of life can feel like a negative prediction, like a heavy moment, like something that we feel we're not going to succeed at. And so I feel it's useful to just build our strategy for maintaining a positive mindset through all the challenges, through all the rougher periods, through all the deep winter seasons. And then we can feel like we always have a tool to use when it comes to any new challenge. Typically, when I mention the concept or start teaching about having a positive mindset, there is at least one or two people who are flummoxed.

Dr. Christine Li [00:03:39]:
They're thinking, I don't know how to do that. It's really not the way I think. It's not the way my brain runs. And when I say these positive statements, it makes me feel like I'm in total denial or I'm lying to myself, thinking, I am capable, I'm going to succeed. Every time I try that kind of thing, there is this pure doubt that comes forth. And that is okay, because that person, those people are being real, they're being truthful. And being truthful is actually a great strategy for success. Also, when we're actually lying to ourselves, that can bring lots of problems.

Dr. Christine Li [00:04:20]:
But in my view, when we're talking about developing a positive mindset, talking positively to yourself is not lying, because actually you are successful. You are made for success. You are headed towards success. But your training, your background, the way your habits have run for the recent past have had you lean negatively. So both are true. There's always a negative, there's always a positive. But when we have a choice, I want to guide you towards leaning positive. Because when our mindset is tilted towards doubt, what happens? We start worrying, we start fearing, we start thinking that we lack what other people seem to have easily.

Dr. Christine Li [00:05:09]:
We start to bypass opportunities because we don't feel like we have enough. We're so concerned with survival that we don't think we could do the tap dance on stage. It just feels ridiculous. But when your mindset is tilted towards positivity, you start to think, oh, tap is my jam. I would love the opportunity to learn how to perform. I'm tap tapping with this troop of lovely people that I just met three months ago, and you start to weave a beautiful story of possibility. And when you connect with possibility, guess what happens next? You end up seeing results. You end up feeling like a success instead of spending all of your precious time worrying, worrying about things that aren't going to happen, worrying about things you don't want to happen.

Dr. Christine Li [00:06:03]:
My bet is always on the positive thinker, because the positive thinker is already in the right part of the room. They're already siding with the winning vibe. They already have their mind trained. They already know what they want, and that means they're quickly going to succeed. So one thing that I need to teach you in order to continue to encourage you to think more positively is to really have you get Good at noticing when you are scaring yourself with the commentary in your mind. Yes, it's the stories that we tell ourselves. We are so intimately connected with the stories that we tell ourselves that we act as if they are facts because we are talking to ourselves all day long. We.

Dr. Christine Li [00:06:58]:
We're saying things like, I'm too far behind. I'm always late. It's too late for me to succeed. I should have figured this out already. I'm probably going to fail anyway. Those sound like factual statements, but they are just personal stories. They sound factual, but they're not facts. They're simply stories that your mind has learned to repeat.

Dr. Christine Li [00:07:24]:
They are beliefs. And notice that in the word beliefs there's the word lie. L, I, E. So let's take the story I'll probably fail anyway. You can predict that for yourself, and that might actually happen, but it's a story until it actually happens. So the mistake that you want to avoid making is believing that you're definitely going to fail. Because that is not a fact. Because there's a great chance, there's a better chance than none that you're actually going to do well enough on whatever project you're avoiding.

Dr. Christine Li [00:08:01]:
So instead of predicting with the story I'll probably fail anyway, you want to say something neutral or positive? Neutral will be, I will be showing up at the test. That's a fact. I will be at the test factual, non negative, non positive, but leaning positive because at least you're there at the test. Being positive would be something like, I'm well prepared for the exam and I look forward to succeeding. I look forward to connecting what I've studied with the material on the test. Anything that is remotely positive, that remotely gets your energy stirred in the right way to succeed at the test would fall under the category of positive mindset. So train yourself to not believe the stories that are really negative and terrible and scary. Start to insert really factual statements into your brain so that you know I'm safely at the test site.

Dr. Christine Li [00:09:07]:
And then get really good at encouraging yourself as a coach would. You've got this. You've studied well. This material is really easy for you. All the positive statements that you can lay on will be helpful. And once you start noticing that you've got a positive attitude and you've studied, something really magical happens. You start to feel more empowered. Instead of doubting yourself, you start to feel like, oh, this positive mindset is me.

Dr. Christine Li [00:09:40]:
It's natural and it's helpful. So it's me. It's natural to me and it's helpful and I like feeling this way. I like to believe in myself instead of scaring myself and it's a beautiful thing to do. I do need to add another comment here about positivity because sometimes we think positivity just means, oh, I'm just turning my mind and view away from the problems. And indeed, so many of us actually desire a problem free life. But positive mindset does not mean we ignore reality. That is not what it means.

Dr. Christine Li [00:10:22]:
Although we want things to be really uncomplicated, what we are going to do is we're going to use our power to face what is really happening. That is how we're going to use our positive mindset. We are no longer going to leave the clutter around. We are no longer going to avoid the appointment or making the appointment. We are no longer going to complain endlessly thinking that that's going to make our problems disappear. Instead, we're going to slow down. We're going to center ourselves. We're going to start with an action step and that self belief that I just trained you how to dig deeper into.

Dr. Christine Li [00:11:04]:
We're going to feel like our actions are actually going to help our lives go more easily. Our actions and our mindset are going to combine for this powerful alignment towards success. Instead of seeing our life as filled with burdens, problems and stresses and things to worry about, we're going to start seeing our life, our lives, as filled with possibility. The only stress we're going to have when we get to that point is thinking, which one do I choose? And that is beautiful. It's like walking into a garden supply store with all the flowers and you want all of them, every color, but you can only walk out with a few. But you always feel grateful to come out with some beautiful flowers for your new spring garden. So think about using your mindset as a tool to see the benefits wherever you look. To connect with possibility in yourself and in your environment and with the people that you interact with.

Dr. Christine Li [00:12:09]:
Take the opportunities to succeed. Don't shrink from any one of them. Take the opportunities to do well, to perform on stage, to help someone else out, to feel accomplished, to use your time well. Because all of that effort, all of that action will pay you back. Instead of doing the old habit of expending your energy and then complaining and feeling drained, we're going to say to ourselves, I am more than enough. I have enough time. I can deal with this now and I'm going to deal with it successfully and actively and I'm going to make my life better in the process. When all of this happens, you really feel powerful, you feel safe, you feel like you have everything that you need and you really align with the powers that you already possess.

Dr. Christine Li [00:13:06]:
The way through to a positive life is through your positive mindset. Not pretending that problems don't exist, not avoiding them, but knowing that you can go through it with joy, with curiosity, with your awareness intact, and the willingness to learn from whatever outcome you succeed at getting. I hope you have enjoyed this mini series on the hidden drains to your time, energy and progress, and I hope you can apply these mini lessons to your day starting today. Go touch that clutter. Go open up a new opportunity for yourself and then go rest. Enjoy at the end of the day because you deserve great rest too. If you'd like the free download that comes with this episode on Positive mindset and Energy, I invite you to go to maketimeforsuccesspodcast.com/positivity Again, it's maketimeforsuccesspodcast.com/positivity. this is one you want to download.

Dr. Christine Li [00:14:14]:
I will see you next time when I've got more content for you on the Make Time for Success podcast. Have a great week.

Dr. Christine Li [00:14:22]:
Thank you for listening to this episode of the Make Time for Success podcast. If you enjoyed what you've heard, you can subscribe to make sure you get notified of upcoming episodes. You can also Visit our website maketimeforsuccesspodcast.com for past episodes, show notes, and all the resources we mention on the show. Feel free to connect with me over on Instagram too. You can find me there under the name ProcrastinationCoach. Send me a DM and let me know what your thoughts are about the episodes you've been listening to and let me know any topics that you might like me to talk about on the show.

Dr. Christine Li [00:14:58]:
I'd love to hear all about how

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you're making Time for Success. Talk to you soon.