Calm the Nervous System: Mindset Hacks for When Life Feels Like Too Much

Dr. Christine Li [00:00:00]:
Welcome back to the Make Time for Success podcast. This is episode number 272. If you are curious about the process of becoming more calm in your life, in your schedule, perhaps in your mindset too, I have a wonderful episode to share with you today. In today's episode, I'm going to give you 4 mindset hacks for creating greater calm and keeping calm, and also some many examples of how to apply these mindset strategies so that you can really trust that calm is going to be the way rather than panic, anxiety, stress, and avoidance. We are done with that selection of options. We are ready for pride, confidence, and joy. Let's go listen to this episode together now.

Dr. Christine Li [00:00:57]:
Hi, I'm Dr. Christine Li, and I'm a psychologist and a a procrastination coach. I've helped thousands of people move past procrastination and overwhelm so they could begin working to their potential. In this podcast, you're going to learn powerful strategies for getting your mind, body, and energy to work together so that you can focus on what's really important and accomplish the goals you want to achieve. When you start living within your full power, you're going to see how being productive can be easy and how you can create success on demand. Welcome to the Make Time for Success podcast.

Dr. Christine Li [00:01:40]:
So the content for today's episode on mindset strategies for creating greater calm inside comes from TikTok. I love TikTok as a social media platform because I feel like it's a place where people are their most relaxed and authentic selves, at least online.. And I find that I can be my most authentic self there. And I also get a lot of really lovely and thoughtful and real comments and responses to my videos there. And one recent commenter asked me, how do I get on a path where I don't feel panicked all the time? That's a summary of that commenter's comment. And that comment just made me light up because it was so honest and also gave me so much room to figure out what my responses are. So I'm going to start with that as my first mindset hack that I'd like to teach you. If you feel like that commenter, that everything you try to do, every path you take seems to land you in a state of anxiety or panic, there is something you can do because it is likely you can backtrack on that path to panic to a thought or a story that is causing the panic.

Dr. Christine Li [00:03:13]:
For example, you may be telling yourself, "I'm not good enough for this." And if you're walking that path, trying to reach your goal, thinking that you're not good enough, you're gonna inherently feel tension, fear, nervousness, self-doubt, confusion, stress. And I'm gonna recommend that you tell yourself a better story. And that's actually the mindset hack, the first one that I wanna share with you. You wanna find a different story to tell. Just like if I told you, you need to travel from New York to Ohio. You could say to yourself, well, I'm going to walk. I'm gonna walk from New York to Ohio. And that might cause you some panic because who wants to walk from New York to Ohio? But mind you, that is only one way of getting from New York to Ohio.

Dr. Christine Li [00:04:15]:
You could drive, you could fly. There are probably other ways. You could bike, you could figure out a combination of those transportation strategies. And that is just my way of trying to describe that there are so many different ways you can tell yourself a story that will get yourself to your goal without panic. And of course, one of those pathways is one that involves pure panic. It involves you not being good enough, you not having the right resources and information, you not having enough time and energy, all of those kinds of stories. And of course you're gonna feel nervous because you are a smart person, but you're also smart enough to know that you can breathe, you can take another minute or two and find a story where you're not ending up feeling panicked in the end, where you start at the starting line saying to yourself, I have all the intelligence, all the resources I need. I will take my time on this journey and I will find my way towards the finish line— to the finish line, I should say.

Dr. Christine Li [00:05:31]:
And as you can tell from this example, the panic doesn't need to be your companion. I will add to this mindset hack because for many of you listening, panic has been a lifetime companion. It has been something that you're used to feeling when you're trying to get something done. I am here to tell you that you can break up with that companion. You no longer need to invite panic and stress on your journey. You can think to yourself, oh, I have resources now. I have the Make Time for Success podcast. I have YouTube.

Dr. Christine Li [00:06:09]:
I have my friends to calm me down and to help me see that there are other stories I can tell myself. You have so many resources in this day and age to decide, I'm going to learn how to be the part of me that knows how to be calm. That part of you is just waiting for you to see. That that part of you is there. And I so look forward to hearing your stories and comments for when you finally decide, my life is so beautiful, I'm going to choose that part of me instead of the panicky part because I want to get more done. I want to enjoy my time. I want to have time for relaxation and I no longer want to be focused on what's negative or what's causing me stress and panic. That is not where I wanna put my focus anymore.

Dr. Christine Li [00:06:59]:
So that's the first mindset hack, which is essentially taking the time to find a different story to tell, one that doesn't cause you panic. The second mindset hack that I need to share with you is learn to accept. Learn to accept that everything is as it is. When we decide that we need something to be a certain way, That's when we basically open ourselves up to potential stress. If— let's come up with an example for you. If you decide that you're gonna buy a lottery ticket and you must win, it's a precious $2 you've spent on the lottery ticket, and you're gonna be really upset if you don't win. This lottery round with this particular ticket. And any of you and all of you who have participated in any sort of lottery, you probably know that the chances are actually stacked against you.

Dr. Christine Li [00:08:06]:
So when you decide you need something to be a certain way, again, you're setting yourself up for disappointment, disillusionment, upset, despair even. And so what is the answer to that? The answer is to decide, oh, I am okay with things as they are. And I'm also going to look towards a positive outcome for me. So you could spend the $2 on the lottery ticket, completely anticipate the joy of winning, should that be a joyful experience for you. But also not be attached to the fact that this particular experience needs to have this particular outcome because that's a setup for disappointment. And I also wanna do a side note for this particular mindset hack. Let's do a thought experiment. If I told you you're gonna win the lottery and you've won the lottery, let's change the story.

Dr. Christine Li [00:09:07]:
You have actually won the lottery. And the money, let's say $2 million from that lottery win, is gonna be put into your bank account on Monday. You'll have access to that money on Monday. The exercise I would like for you to go through is to think to yourself, how do I feel? How do I feel knowing that my wins are coming, that they're secured, that they've already happened? And I'm gonna guess that you feel excited, positively relieved, all these good things because you can already imagine your success. You've been told you've already become a success in that way. And that is just a mindset exercise to understand that your mind is gonna go where you guide it to go. You don't literally have to win $2 million to feel those feelings of being a success, of being joyful, of being incredibly lucky, of being a winner. And I am going to coach you into using those strategies, those mindset strategies that you possess now.

Dr. Christine Li [00:10:23]:
If you can imagine having $2 million more in your bank account on Monday, you can use this mindset strategy going forward. It is free and easy to activate, but you just need to believe that setting your mindset up for success from the start is gonna have a positive effect on your mood, and it's also gonna encourage you to go straight towards the outcome that you actually want for yourself. Setting yourself up for disappointment is not the way that we wanna start. We don't wanna start thinking, Oh, I failed at this every other time that I've tried, or this is so hard. I can't believe I have to do this again. Or I just want to avoid filling out those papers because I hate paperwork. You don't want to start your tasks with that kind of attitude. Start with the attitude of I've already won.

Dr. Christine Li [00:11:20]:
I'm already a success. I love feeling this way. And then those tasks are going to be completely so much easier. The third mindset hack that I have for you today is you want to get really used to the idea and the reality that you will get through your next challenge. I think sometimes life is just a series of challenges that we need to get ourselves through. And I believe from personal experience and from coaching and training as many people as I have, that we have a way of forgetting the big picture story that we are successful, that we have survived everything we've ever been through, that we are actually pretty great at getting through challenges and difficulty, even if it's been painful and long. But know that you can use that mindset strategy of believing that everything is gonna be fine in the end. To get yourself prepared for any future challenge.

Dr. Christine Li [00:12:29]:
You have got this. It is really a truth of your life, and I just want you to benefit from that truth going forward. So remember, you're gonna get through this. The very last mindset hack that I have for you is a great one. We want to know ahead of time, that as we face our next challenge, our brain is gonna try to keep us from getting through that challenge. Part of our brain is really ready to go and ready to see you through, but there's a good part of your brain that is just wanting you to stay low, stay small, stay safe, stay with the status quo, and don't do anything that would risk your current sense of safety and wellbeing. And when you know that your brain's gonna act like that, You can use your mind, which is higher than your brain. It's like that part of you that can see the distance, that can see all of your potential, that knows you are safe already and can tell you where to go.

Dr. Christine Li [00:13:33]:
Your mind can then take what your brain is kicking up, those worries, those fears, those difficulties, that dread, and say, oh, you know what, we're going to bypass that. Right now. We're gonna save you some time and we're gonna do the first step. We're gonna take the first step to see what is actually going on in this challenge for us. We're gonna see what we're made of. We're gonna see how exciting this can be for you. And your mind is always supporting you. Your brain is actually always supporting you.

Dr. Christine Li [00:14:05]:
Even when it's kicking up those worries, it is just caring for you. So know that you are a winner. You are a survivor. You are talented. You are equipped. And you've got so many mindset hacks that you can now try on for size. Adjust as needed, but know that you're always headed forward. You're always headed towards growth.

Dr. Christine Li [00:14:30]:
You're always headed towards whatever you want to be headed towards, as long as you stay with the stories that support you, rather than believing the stories that are set up to keep you small and stuck with the status quo. I want to end with a current events example, which is the story of Alyssa Liu, our wonderful and amazing USA competitor in women's— who's— figure skating. Sorry about the dog noise in the back. Alyssa Liu is just making such a splash right now because she is a comeback story. At age 18, she was the youngest women's national champion ever. So she had already accomplished amazing, outsized things at the young age of 13. But from what I've heard and from what I've gathered, she went through a lot at that time and also experienced burnout. She pulled out from competition.

Dr. Christine Li [00:15:45]:
And then when she became older— she's now 20 and an active competitor in these current Olympics— she decided that she was going to return on her own terms. Which apparently means that she was going to compete this time from a state of joy, from a state of trusting herself, and from a state of guiding herself as well. I think from what I have read, there were some pressures to eat a certain way and to look a certain way back when she was younger. And this time she came fully herself, fully knowing herself, fully trusting herself, and knowing her true love of the sport. That was also part of the story. She withdrew from the sport and competition and then realized that she really, truly loved competing and her sport. And so she returned. And just— if you've seen any of the footage, which you probably have, she just skated with such beauty and freedom.

Dr. Christine Li [00:16:54]:
And heart and love. She was connected to herself and her viewers and her competition. And she just made a cultural event happen where we came together to enjoy her dancing to Donna Summer, one of my favorites, and to show us that when we guide ourself, when we trust ourself, when we— invest in our strength and mindset, in our path, we can always come out a winner. I'm getting emotional because that's me. So what is your big takeaway from this episode? Tell yourself, remind yourself that you've already won that lottery ticket. You've already won that gold medal. You already have that potential inside of you. And if you'd like to share your aha moments with me, just come over to Instagram.

Dr. Christine Li [00:17:50]:
I'm @procrastinationcoach there and just send me a direct message and I would love to have a quick chat with you there. And also use your mindset strategy in your life. Make sure to try something new. Make sure to change your story when you need to because it's your life to experiment with and it's a great one. Thank you so much for listening to today's episode and content. If you'd like a worksheet to work through your own thoughts about these mindset hacks, I invite you to go to maketimeforsuccesspodcast.com/calm. Again, it is maketimeforsuccesspodcast.com/calm, C-A-L-M, to get the free download and do your own mindset reworking. I can't wait.

Dr. Christine Li [00:18:41]:
To connect you to that worksheet. And we will see each other next week as the next episode drops on the Make Time for Success Podcast. Thanks so much.

Dr. Christine Li [00:18:51]:
Bye. Thank you for listening to this episode of the Make Time for Success Podcast. If you enjoyed what you've heard, you can subscribe to make sure you get notified of upcoming episodes. You can also visit our website, maketimeforsuccesspodcast.com. For past episodes, show notes, and all the resources we mention on the show. Feel free to connect with me over on Instagram too. You can find me there under the name Procrastination Coach. Send me a DM and let me know what your thoughts are about the episodes you've been listening to.

Dr. Christine Li [00:19:23]:
And let me know any topics that you might like me to talk about on the show. I'd love to hear all about how you're making time for success.

Dr. Christine Li [00:19:32]:
Talk to you soon.