This episode is a fun one! Not only are you going to hear about all sorts of issues like overcoming nervousness and worry, developing self trust, and principles of improving your productivity and actually taking action but you're also going to hear about ice cream and puppies. Why? Because in this episode, the tables are turned and Danya Douglas-Hunt, my special guest on the last episode is interviewing me. It's a little bit of a change in my style of setting up these podcast episodes. But this experiment really worked. We thought we would get to know each other more, while enabling you to see a little bit more closely about how I think, how I feel and who I am.
Danya is a former Olympic athletic therapist and strength and conditioning coach, turned multi-passionate entrepreneur, who now coaches high-performing entrepreneurs to their next level of income, impact, and inner growth. She is a certified Neuro Linguistic Programming Practitioner, a life and success coach, a time techniques practitioner, a clinical hypnotherapist and an Emotion Freedom Techniques facilitator. Outside of her one-on-one and small group coaching, she is trained by and coaches on James Wedmore’s team and does performance coaching for Pure Life Organics.
• [4:49] “To the body excited and nervous. There's no difference. It's just how we label it. It's just energy in our body…”
• [5:18] Dr. Christine talks about her own initial nervousness being with a fear of underperforming or under delivering.
• [8:58] Dr. Christine talks about the impetus for getting her into the work she does and what really gets her out of bed in the morning.
• [19:17] “I think the same works for the mental load that we're carrying. We have control over that. And we have a lot of responsibility to go lightly when we can.”
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Danya Douglas-Hunt -
Christine Li 0:01
Welcome back to the Make Time for Success podcast. This is episode number 64. My friends this episode is a fun one, not only you're going to hear about all sorts of issues like overcoming nervousness and worry, developing self trust, and principles of improving your productivity and actually taking action. But you're also going to hear about ice cream and puppies. Why? Because in this episode, the tables are turned and Danya Douglas-Hunt, my special guests on the last episode, episode number 63. And this episode, is interviewing me. It's a little bit of a change in my style of setting up these podcast episodes. But this experiment really worked. We thought we would get to know each other more, while enabling you to see a little bit more closely about how I think, how I feel and who I am. I appreciate Danya's kindness in offering to do this interview with me. And I want to make sure you listen to episode number 63 too where I interviewed Danya about her work, and her experience as a former Olympic athletic trainer and strengthen conditioning coach. And as a multi-passionate entrepreneur. She's so talented, so skilled, such an effective coach, and leader and this episode is so much fun. I'm grateful to have had this chance to do two episodes with her. Let's go listen to this interview now.
Hi, I'm Dr. Christine Li and I'm a psychologist and a procrastination coach. I've helped 1000s of people move past procrastination and overwhelm so they could begin working to their potential. In this podcast, you're going to learn a powerful strategies for getting your mind, body and energy to work together so that you can focus on what's really important and accomplish the goals you want to achieve. When you start living within your full power, you're going to see how being productive can be easy, and how you can create success on demand.
Welcome to the Make Time for Success Podcast.
Danya Douglas-Hunt 2:23
Hello, hello. Welcome to the podcast. You might be listening and being like Whose voice is this? This is not the normal voice. And you'd be right because here's the thing. I did a podcast with Dr. Christine earlier. And I'm like we had to do on about you. And we have to highlight you. So we have flip the roles here a little bit where I get the privilege to introduce and get to know Dr. Christine even more. So how are you doing today, Dr. Christine?
Christine Li 2:49
Thank you, Danya for being here. This is Christine li talking to Danya Douglas-Hunt, who was so kind to give me a beautiful episode, just the one before this one. And she had the lovely idea of working together in this way I got immediately nervous by the idea. But then I immediately said this will be a great opportunity because of what I know about Danya and her skills and her wonderfulness and her attitude about this kind of work of personal development and bringing the best out of people. So thank you, Daniel, for being here.
Danya Douglas-Hunt 3:28
You're so welcome. And this is fun, because we've like kind of talked about a few questions. But really, this is just going to be a just a real conversation about getting to know you more, and I'm already going to go somewhere. So I'm going here but like so I'm curious what, what was the nervousness about being asked to really talk about you on the podcast? Where does that what came up for you?
Christine Li 3:49
I think nervousness is just a general programmed habit that I have. Yeah. And I have learned to just get over that nervousness as quickly as possible over the years. And certainly I was not like that before. I used to just be nervousness all the time. Yeah. But I kind of get x I do get excited when I feel nervous these days. Because I feel like oh, it's just something I haven't gotten really experienced about. It's something new for me. It's something I'm going to have to consider and dig deeper into myself to do Yeah, and then I just gather myself together and then I go and I say yes, I oftentimes will say yes.
Danya Douglas-Hunt 4:31
I love that. And it's so beautiful to kind of open up here because how many times do we get asked things or opportunities, playing it back the audience like think of yourself in this situation where the nervousness comes and then it's a stop and it's a no versus what you've done is you've reframed it and it's beautiful because like to the body excited and nervous. There's no difference. It's just how we label it. It's just energy in our body. So it's beautiful because you have a choice to feel the nervousness and like Okay, on See it? And then still say yes and move forward, or feel it and then shut down and stop. And then, you know, like, where does that leave us not exploring opportunities, potentially. So I love it.
Christine Li 5:11
I want to follow up with that and just say that to be a little more honest about that nervousness, I feel that the initial nervousness is always associated with I'm going to somehow underperform or under deliver or not be how I'm supposed to look or something like that. And those thoughts, I think, are pre programmed as well ingrained, very old parts of the Christine li system. But those are things that I've had to work through and get over as well. And even if I'm feeling that in the current day, then that those things are not completely worked through. I still have to get over that. Yeah. And collect my resources and say yes, oftentimes, which is just a wonderful path to be on. You go through all the different feelings. And you still say, yes, it's okay. It always ends up being okay. Yeah.
Danya Douglas-Hunt 6:02
And again, what a beautiful highlight to, regardless of level of knowledge and success and who you are as a person, we're all humans who have these thoughts, or these, like, the inner critic that comes up are the thoughts of like, oh, you know, the doubts, everyone experiences that no matter who you are, what level you're at what you do for work, everyone experiences that? And I think just to highlight to your listeners, like, that's normal, and you still have a choice to honor and replicate what's coming up and challenge those thoughts, or uncover? Do I do some work here, and still be able to move forward, like that stuff doesn't just go away, the more knowledgeable and successful you become, in fact, they come in different ways. So it's just nice to almost have permission to be like, Yeah, everyone has these thoughts. And you can choose how to navigate them, uncover them, work through them, and still say yes, and move forward.
Christine Li 6:51
I also noticed that these collection of nerves and nervousness also happen, especially when you're about to elevate your game in some way. Yeah. So expect that I agree with Dan. Yeah, everyone who's listening, make this part of just your toolkit that you're going to anticipate that you're going to have some rocky feeling sometimes, but that those feelings are not going to distract you from your end goal.
Danya Douglas-Hunt 7:19
Yep. So I gotta throw in some brain stuff here. I know, we're kind of on the same page. But like, that is so key. We did episodes earlier. So maybe I won't go too much into it. But the brains job is to like, keep us safe, and be able to predict things, and what happens outside, or where do our goals lie, it's like all outside of our comfort zone, it's changed, it's different, our brain can't predict it. So just like you said, Christine, where you experienced these nerves, expect them to come up even louder, even more around right when you're about to up level, right? When you're about to jump into an opportunity, because just that's how the brain is wired. It doesn't, it doesn't know what to dissipate, it's not something you've done before, necessarily. And so it's gonna like try and do everything it can to keep you to what it knows in your comfort zone. And so you get a choice. And you get to use that as a, oh my gosh, this is a good sign. I'm about to uplevel I'm about to learn something about to grow and use that self chatter as like a good indication of that comfort zone. Or what most people tend to do, because they're just not aware of it is they hear and they just like keep backing down or staying in their comfort zone. So just that reframe different perception. This is such a, like, how many people can relate to this, let's be real. This is a good opening conversation to dive into real nerves and stuff, you know?
Christine Li 8:28
Yes, absolutely. Okay, so
Danya Douglas-Hunt 8:30
let's get into what we really came here talking about was you and I just want to get to know you more. So what I'd love to know is this question can sometimes just be so broad, but what really is your why, Christine? What really got you into doing this work? What gets you out of bed? Like just can you share a little bit about your story or your why and anything about what you'd love your listeners to know a bit more about you?
Christine Li 8:58
Okay, thank you for that beautiful question. I would say, I no longer have trouble getting out of bed. And again, that was not always the case. I used to be so sleep deprived, that it was almost impossible to feel like I could get out of bed it was that severe and issue and I was so discombobulated with life, chores and tasks and scheduling and responsibilities, that I was a rolling mess. And I don't know that my podcast listeners or other people know that much about that part of my life. Unless you're in my close circle of friends and family, you probably haven't seen that. And I'm grateful that that's part of my life, but also part of my past because it's way easier to just feel like you're waking up with spirit with purpose, with happiness and with a sense of call and that calm can certainly get destroyed by Anything within a few minutes, but that's life, it's not how I'm emerging into the day anymore. And I feel like that is independent of how much sleep I'm getting that I'm feeling good in my heart and in my mind and in my body. And that has been a process. So that is how I wake up in the morning. But my y really has to do with something about energy, and helping people and helping myself in the process to avoid waste. And I was debating whether to use that word. But I do think there's something about that and my own history that I spent so many years wasting my skills, my chances, my time, my energy, that now that's a short handed way for me to just say like, my whole key to doing things is Let's reduce the waste, let's reduce the waste of thought, worry, energy, effort, over planning, overthinking all of that stuff. And that's really central to how I live and how I teach people and how I see things, how I see problems that people will bring to me, because oftentimes, there's resistance, there's some sort of waste, there's some sort of distortion in how we're doing things. It's innocent, as you so kindly noted earlier on this interview. And that's why we need each other. That's why there are coaches and therapists and podcasts, because we need to borrow other people's experience and other people's energy and other people's wisdom in order to fix our own areas of waste and despair and stress and struggle.
Danya Douglas-Hunt 11:53
Yeah. And like this may be obvious to some people, but in doing so in really helping others, like you said, reduce waste of whether it's thought or energy. What does that enable that person to do? Or what makes what does that make it possible for other people?
Christine Li 12:11
I think it makes everything possible. I think that's the short way of describing it. And my first thought was that it enables the brain to operate in its fullest capacity, that the brain is able to just come up with the raw material that you can use, it comes up with that on the spot response to a question that you've never heard before, to come up with the thing that really reflects your opinion, without embarrassment, shame, any other layers of oh, I need to be impressive, oh, I need not to have arms and ahhs and likes and you know, yeah, all of those things. And these are things that you can learn. And so that's the excitement for me is that I can be a teacher of those principles that I can support people, and train them and work with them, until that freedom is achieved. And then to see all the light bulbs going off, the improvement in functioning, the ease of life, the better complexion, all of those things, all those signs that people are in flow with themselves and in their own system and with their world. Yeah, that's definitely my why
Danya Douglas-Hunt 13:29
I love it. I love it. And some of you said earlier for you, when you first open up the conversation was, how things used to be and then how they are now like how you've been able to mask on yourself. What was really the changing or defining moment for you if there was one? So you said you woke up kind of with low energy and kind of in different frames of mind. And then now it's like things have totally changed and totally shifted. What was that that changed for you? Was there an event or an experience? You're just like, I'm sick and tired of my own crap? Like what was that?
Christine Li 13:59
I was not sick and tired of my own crap, because I just thought this was me. So it was very frustrating. Don't get me wrong, but I just was like, Well, this is how I do things. And so I can't be that upset about it, because this is how I do things. And then I some of my listeners will have heard this story before. But I was working at a university college counseling service. And one of the deans at the university requested a procrastination workshop. I volunteered for it not knowing what I was volunteering for, really, and then did the research for it and realized, oh my god, this isn't my personality or my style. It just is a set of habits that I can change that I can fix that I can heal from and then not have this issue be a burden for me anymore. So I was both learning it teaching it and recovering from it in the same space of time. And that really was the transition moment. I think from that point on, I knew, wow, the world is wide open for me, as long as I can stay on this course. And it's just like going to therapy once you're in a little bit, you're not going to ever doubt that it's a it's a good path for you. So I've been on that path ever since really kind of obsessed with concepts of self improvement, life improvement, energy improvement learning, because now I'm not spending the entire day doubting my own abilities.
Danya Douglas-Hunt 15:36
Sometimes. Yeah, it's that's so beautiful. And, and I love how how that came up for you in such a unique and unassuming way to but really to recognize, oh, my goodness, this doesn't have to be how it is I can actually change this. There's, there's nothing wrong with me. There's just some habits, or there's ways of thinking or things I've picked up that, I think is what it is. But it's like, no, actually, you can completely change your life. And it does require work and effort and intention. However, on the flip side of that now look at what's opened up for you and how you live your life when you teach other people. So, so beautiful. Okay, I want to ask this one where what do you wish more people knew about you?
Christine Li 16:18
I don't necessarily wish this but I think a lot of people don't know, just my light hearted, Goofy, fun loving side. I think there's the whole online phenomenon of how you're showing up. And I think I think it doesn't there. Maybe it's just how I'm playing the online game. But I don't think I've revealed that much about that part of myself to my audience to people on Instagram or anything like that. And that is really how I live my life as well. Just really looking for fun, is joking around, poking fun at myself, self deprecation, all of that stuff. And making light of things. I think people have said that my style of teaching is really generally just like, lighten up everyone, because we're taking this all way too seriously. So that that is something that I think is helpful, but also something that I would want people to know about me that I'm not all serious and work even though I work a lot. I really like play and movies and joking and eating and dancing, all these fun things of just seeing where your spirit can take you.
Danya Douglas-Hunt 17:36
I love it. I love it. And it's fun because I think you and I are someone that way where we take our work very seriously. But we don't take life or ourselves too seriously. Like it changed work and the deep inner work can still be enjoyable even though you're going through some massive up leveling and awareness. Like it's still gonna be fun and they still can be done with a tune of enjoying it and lightheartedness. Like it doesn't have to be this heavy, deep, hard stuff all the time. So I love that. And I yeah, I can't wait to see more of that side of you even shine through can be?
Christine Li 18:08
Well, thank you, I think I think you've given me the instruction to do that. And, and the space to do that here even. And I'd say in watching your work, I think you're a ton of fun, it's very apparent. And that you're, you know, you're free. And you're that's part of your message is that, you know, we're going to get there. And we might as well be choosing the route that fits well with us and makes things easier for us. And I also feel like when we assume that things need to be heavy, they become heavy, and that that again, can be that waist area where now you're carrying twice as much of a load to the finish line. I just think we all like to pack lighter. Once we've actually experienced that on a real like cross country trip, that first time when you show up. I remember going to border officer and she commented that my party was really lightly packed, and we were just flying through the entire trip because of it. So it really was a different experience. And I think the same works for the mental load that we're carrying. We have control over that. And we have a lot of responsibility to, I think go lightly when we can
Danya Douglas-Hunt 19:29
totally I love that. Yeah, like how many of us are carrying around what's like the metaphor, the baggage, right? The the doubts, the limiting beliefs, the heaviness, the the worries of what people think about you, but then when you really truly step into who you authentically are and you're not hiding and you just get to be yourself the it is like this massive way you just left off and it's like people get to know you for who you are versus who you think you should be. Right and there's this huge thing of like fear of judgment and comparison and there's even like Kancil culture out there but I just find when you show up as yourself, you attract the right people to you, the people who like, like, I'm very silly, I'm very goofy, and not, that doesn't work for everyone. But that's gonna work for the people who are like, Oh, I can do the work and still have fun and laugh at the same time. And it kind of comes back to this whole thing around not being the same type of ice cream, like not everyone loves vanilla. Not everyone loves, I don't know, cookies and cream, like there's a variety of flavors for a reason. So to truly be your true, authentic self, and have fun and your expression and just be light with it. You're gonna attract people who want your type of working your style, too. So
Christine Li 20:33
absolutely, I agree. And I do not like vanilla ice cream. And chocolate, sprinkles. Give me that. Yeah, and I think that's a reason why we connected is like, we're both essentially fun minded. And yeah, get along easily.
Danya Douglas-Hunt 20:50
I love it. Okay, so can we change a little bit to the tune of when you work with your clients? Maybe let's start with this. Is there a certain like, a dream client? Where if someone was listening, they just stumbled across your podcast for the first time? How would they know that they would be a really good fit to work with you? Like, do you have a dream client? Where you're like, This? is the type person I typically work with? Or who would excel the most? Is there anything that comes to mind when you think of your dream client? Or who? Like, how would people know like, Oh, that's perfect. For me, that's who I need to work with.
Christine Li 21:22
I think that was my heart response is that if they're feeling it, in their mind, hard experience that wow, that just feels like something that would be comfortable and safe for me that I trust that even without meeting Christina in person, I feel like that's a person that I oftentimes don't necessarily have to do the pre work, because by the time they've called me, they already know a little bit about our connection. Yeah. And I have certainly worked with people as the person who has reached out because of a vibe that I've heard on a podcast, or on Instagram, something like that, because I feel safe already. And so that's certainly a dream client. And I like people with non traditional brains. And by that I mean, not necessarily the linear, hyper organized type, I certainly can and will work with the hyper organized type. But I like people who are kind of creative, see things a little bit differently than other people might feel awkward about that, or somehow out of place, because they think differently. And I just think I might have that kind of brain myself. So I kind of resonate and can understand a brain that maybe might be frustrating to some other therapist or coach, that tends to be something that I've noticed. And I like people who are up for a mindset shift, anybody who's kind of looking for growth, looking for change, doing the courageous work, yeah, willing to listen. Absolutely. So I like working with entrepreneurs, and students who are in that growth process that naturally there's this opening up and strengthening of will and purpose and going with them to see what's going to come of this we don't know. And I like seeing people over time, because you see the ease and the benefit and the growth. Yeah,
Danya Douglas-Hunt 23:27
I love that. It's right. There's like almost like when you work with someone to there's like the learning phase of like becoming aware and uncovering things. And then there's like the implementation phase. And then like, then life happens. And then there's pitfalls. And there's backstepping. So it's like, I'm the same with you. I like to work with someone for a period of time, because there's this natural flow of learning but of uncovering, but a forward, backward, sideways, but the whole flow is forward. And I would agree to I think a lot of the qualities you said too, it's like, I didn't fit in. I'm not someone who's like Taipei has to be in this box. And I I was made wrong a lot of time to feel like what's wrong with me what's different, like I'm multi passionate, I love a lot of things my brain thinks in different ways. And for the longest time, I thought because I didn't fit into that box, or I didn't see a representation of an entrepreneur who was multi passionate or kind of thought like I did, or I thought it was wrong. And so it's really refreshing to hear when other people speak of like, oh, yeah, you know, my brain kind things like this, or this is how I operate. And it's like, oh, yeah, I'm not alone. And yes, okay, cool. Like you can understand how I work and working with you too. So. And that's not to say right or wrong. It's not to say it's just how we work how we function. And some people work really well type a schedule, linear thinking amazing. Some people don't, they're more abstract. It's just finding the support that suits you and works well for you, I think is the, the general theme of that. So
Christine Li 24:47
yeah, I think as coaches we also need to be thinking kind of, in some ways, all the directions simultaneously. So it can help to have that kind of flexibility and not be afraid to expand I'll share With you, one of the very first piece of excellent supervision I had as a trainee, early young trainee younger person was my supervisor at the time, told me that as a person in training, a goal could be that I would be able to experience all the feelings. And I was younger at the time pretty young, pretty emotionally, immature and under experienced. And so that piece of advice gave me the freedom to say, oh, everything's game, now I actually can experience things, I can start expressing the things I had been suppressing. And that piece of advice has really guided me throughout my years of practice, because that can be shared with everyone. So everybody who's listening here today, don't be afraid of the new feeling, because that's just another piece of information and another door for you to step through. And we, we don't have to keep these feelings if they're not serving us, but that it's safe to, to have them be registered in your body and your mind and experience. Because it's just information that's for you meant for you and real.
Danya Douglas-Hunt 26:21
Yeah, I love that. It's so beautiful. Because how many people don't allow themselves to do that? And then again, thinking of like, what are we missing out on learning? What are we missing out on possible opportunities, because we're just trying to fit in a certain way or, you know, hide certain things. So it just enables you to live life more fully, really, and really get to know who you are, too. So. Okay, Christine, what would you say? So, you've worked with so many clients, and you have like, an expertise and background in like, self belief? Why do we waste make things easier perfectionism at HD, add procrastination, productivity, anxiety, just to name a few, right? It's obviously about helping the person up level, what would you say are the common pitfalls you see that your clients are making but that aren't so obvious to them? Is there certain things or certain patterns you're aware of? Or like that someone who's listening right now might not even realize that they're doing and they're doing? I know, that's a depends. But for you, Does anything come to mind where you're like, Oh, if only more people know about this, or had awareness of this? What might that be for you?
Christine Li 27:27
Okay, for you and I in the circles that we travel in? I think these two things that I'm going to mention are very familiar, but I don't think they can be over discussed for the general public. And one is that worry, really is not serving you. Yeah. And that there's, I think, very little actual need for the practice of worrying. And worry itself tends to take up a lot of brain and body real estate. And time, then because we're busy sorting through cycles of worry patterns of worry, long strings of worry, worry over years. And then what comes of it, almost nothing except for wasted time, energy and increased fear. So the only thing that results are their negative products. And we just want to stay away from things that give us less of a full experience of our range and of our ability and our possibilities. So that is one thing because of course, as a psychologist, that's what's actually the content is oftentimes very much negativity, pessimism, cynicism, skepticism, self doubt, very much the negative pool of energy. And I heard the other day on some sort of podcast or social media thing, that positive energy and negative energy cannot occupy the same space. And I think I knew that intuitively. But I never heard it articulated. In that way. I wish I remembered where I could attribute this to. But that's so important. Let's make our brain space, our mind space, our heart space, pure and open and available to the original positivity that we come with, but also to other people's and other inspiration, and just all that good stuff so that we stay away from negative events, pessimism that will just sink our will and our motivation so that we have none. I just feel like worry is not a good thing. The second thing I wanted to share was that we don't have to believe our own thoughts and I know you believe in that principle, right. And so luckily, I am an argumentative person. Oftentimes I like I like poking around and seeing how people got to see how they see. And it can be really fun. And we just need to get good at practicing poking holes in our own story, because so much of what we do all day is just cycle through different stories that we've created, that are somewhat accidental, somewhat on purpose, but oftentimes, just really not necessary or true. So believe very little about what you're feeding yourself. And then the stuff that makes you feel exhilarated and happy and positive and confident. Those are the stories you'll want to stick with, even if you don't quite believe in them yet, where you feel even that they're not true. I want you to head straight for those stories, because they're the future you and they're the possible you and they are you.
Danya Douglas-Hunt 30:49
I love it. So somebody came up was you're talking about worry around, I just hear someone being like, Well, why do I worry so much is there? I know there's, we probably have so many podcasts, maybe you can direct them to and if you've already talked about it, but for someone who's thinking like why do I worry so much? I know it's very broad, and it can depend on situation and a lot of things. But in general, is there like a reason potentially? Why? Why does our brain want to worry so much? Why is it naturally just like, look for the worst case scenario? Is there anything you can shed light on to someone who might be asking like, it's so frustrating, but I just don't know why I worry so much. What would you say to that person?
Christine Li 31:25
My quick responses are that worry is a habit. And worry is a trained habit. And those are, I guess, two separate responses. So the habit is that we develop a cycle of oh, something's worrisome, we get into routine of worrying about it. And then we feel the reward is that we feel like we've taken care of ourselves by being aware of not ignoring it and keeping ourselves safe. And our brain is involved in that. But the fact that we let it occupy so much of our time and brain space is just can sometimes be training, reinforcement from people around us early authority figures, schooling, news, and a vibe around us even maybe we weren't in safe environments, when we were growing up even that even the air that we grow up in can cause an unease. So there there are families and homes where you walk in and everything is really light and, and there of course others where everything's a little bit fraught. And it's just the intergenerational training of this is how we raise children. This is how we live together. And oftentimes, again, we can apply these principles that we've talked about in this episode of making things lighter, having things be more fun, not caring so much about every little thing, and going with what feels better. And I feel actually, what feels better. And what is safe for us, oftentimes are exactly the same thing. We're just spending all of our beautiful lifetime, our precious lifetime, worrying about what we don't want, and that is just what I help people not to do.
Danya Douglas-Hunt 33:09
Yeah, yeah, it is a it's a big because it depends on so many things. But something I remember saying a while ago, or like creating a post on inspired from someone else was like, very rarely do we go like, Oh my gosh, I'm so glad I worried so much about this. Our brains want to think of worst case scenarios and go to that thing very rarely they actually happen. And then you get to the place. You're like, Why did I worry so much about this? Like I, you know, so it's just kind of if we can step back and look at it from a perspective of like, how much and how often am I worrying? And are these things actually coming through all the time? Or can I release the whole the intensity of like, worst case scenario that very, very, very rarely happens? And start to redirect energy? Like you said, instead of wasting it to what you said, like what exhilarates you what lights you up? What do you want? And how can we take that time energy from worrying about things that don't usually happen to creating what you do want to happen?
Christine Li 34:03
Yes, yeah. So I feel like what we can do with that time, is be productive. And I don't mean to indicate that productivity is the altar that we should all be praying to. Yeah, but that productivity has a lot of rewards, and a lot of personal growth, rewards, social rewards, community rewards, that we can learn more about ourselves through the avenue of productivity so that that tends to be my side focus. And that can be something that can help people find direction for where they're going to take their time where they're going to use their precious energy. And, of course, looks differently for different people, but then we get productive people, people who are feeling well who are Making every morning feeling like they've got this they've got things to do. And so to not use productivity as like a burden, but to see it as just an opportunity to thrive and be unique and to express what needs to be expressed. Oftentimes, it's it's releasing something that that does want to be seen in the world.
Danya Douglas-Hunt 35:23
Yeah. I love that. On that note, do you have a I know, again, all these questions are like broad and it's hard to kind of go in when you know thing. But do you have like a favorite productivity hack or tip for entrepreneurs? Are your clients who work with that you've seen time and time again, work? Well, I know it depends. I know everyone's different. But is there like something that comes top of mind to that is one of your favorite productivity hacks.
Christine Li 35:48
Two words, act now? I love so those two words are really scary for most entrepreneurs. Because of all the things that we've talked about. So personal hang ups, the personal process, that things are not worked through the fear, fear of judgment, fear of waste, fear of coming across a certain way, fear of success, all that stuff is bundled up into any entrepreneurs brain, you and I both know this well, and from both an entrepreneur side and a coach side. And I think the act now principle, or really is the cure the cure is to say, I'm moving forward, imperfectly, I'm moving forward. Now, because I want to see what happens when I'm not doubting myself. And when I'm trusting myself, I think we haven't used the word Trust yet in this conversation, but I have learned that really, in my entrepreneurship journey, self trust is the biggest thing that is going to hold my building that I'm building together. If I don't have that nothing really works out, well. It's going to come out lackluster, I'm going to not send the email, I'm going to not speak with the right energy. And that has been a process because it can be a process to really trust yourself at that level.
Danya Douglas-Hunt 37:19
Yeah. Can you elaborate or speak more to that? So in my own experience, too, that's the biggest thing is trusting yourself. And I think from my perspective, just like trusting that, I always figure it out. And everything always works out, maybe not how I wanted or how I envisioned, but but usually better than I ever could envision. But it is place reom was around like this tiered balance of the assignment of word. What's the word? I'm looking for a teeter totter where it's like, do I step forward and act now and trust myself? That whatever decisions I do make, I will figure out or I can meet head on or not, it'll be fine. Or am I stuck in that worry and doubt cycle of like, you know, getting on my what I say this? Will dragons hold me back? So for you, can you elaborate a bit more on how someone can start to develop that self trust? Is there a couple tips or something that you've experienced to that you're like, Oh, I depends. And there's obviously a lot more to this. But there's someone who's like how, what is self trust? How can I start to develop that even more?
Christine Li 38:17
Great questions. This one's a deep one, I think because this self trust really is our maybe our deepest conflict on some level that, can we feel safe no matter what, no matter what we're trying, no matter what people are saying no matter how much it costs, no matter who's looking, that's deep. That's like, the core of psychology probably. And I would say I've been going through a little bit of that lately, because I am trying to uplevel in terms of just how I'm presenting how I'm showing up. And I found myself automatically having to filter through a few things like well, you don't fit there, this isn't for you. This is going to be costly. This feels scary. And all at once. And I have just maybe for the first time, actually, after so many years of doing this feeling like okay, this is mine to filter through. This is my time to really try this. I've done the podcast, right? How much scarier can I get? To just know that these are things that I can survive? And I don't know if that fully answers your question, but I have been experiencing this really in the past few days of just considering, can I make it through and do I back out? Or do I move forward and I think my hearts trusting at this point I'm going to move forward. And so I need to be aware of what am I saying to myself? What are the old things that are coming back to try to slay me and protect me at the same time? And it's intense, I have to say because you never know Remember, for the I don't I never remember that, oh, I go through this every time I try to uplevel it's a new experience every time.
Danya Douglas-Hunt 40:07
Yeah, I think it's beautiful. I think the basic elephant has the awareness piece of it right, like recognizing when you are up leveling or recognizing the thoughts that are coming up. And just like you said before, to challenge those thoughts to question them to be aware of them and understand, okay, where's ninjas coming from, and then still making a choice. And this goes back to your act now of like, Yes, I can be aware of these things. And I can still decide to move forward powerfully. But it is this constant inner dialogue with yourself, I find on the same like, there's, there's days where I'm having like 15 Plus conversations, like getting me off the edge of just redirecting my attention to what I want, not allowing the thoughts of self doubt or fear to come up. But again, this just highlights this happens, everyone. But then when you learn the tools, you have the awareness, you can learn how to self coach or recognize why it's coming up or what it's actually signifying, and how you can still move forward powerfully towards your goals, and not allow the lack of self trust or the doubts or the fears to hold you back. And I don't think many people realize that it's like, you get to a certain level, and it's not there. No, no, they're all there. It's just can you learn how to be aware of yourself and apply the tools that you know, and still move forward powerfully in spite of that fear, in spite of the stuff that comes up? You know, so I think it's beautiful. Yeah, I think it's a great. Yep.
Christine Li 41:20
Can I turn the tables now? Because I'm curious what it just I'm going to ask the same question of you. Yeah, in terms of was there a pivotal moment in your life, where you felt like you could trust yourself in a deeper way that you knew that the rest of your life was going to not be operating from the same principles as the part before?
Danya Douglas-Hunt 41:42
There's been a couple this year, I will say, has been this on steroids for me. Like, in every area of my life relationships, where I live my business, everything. And what's really changed for me, was the relationship with myself to really understand what is noise? And what is ego? Or what is fears and doubts and other people's perceptions and beliefs and programs and what is actually my own, and to understand, like, where the thoughts maybe came from? Or where are these fears coming from? And a huge part of that, for me was just getting quiet. And it was like the lamest thing ever, like, oh, just get quiet. But when you get quiet in that stillness, you actually get to hear what's for me, like your intuition versus what's the noises. And every time I was able to get quiet, I really just get to hear the noise, the chatter is gonna come up first. And then it's like, no, I have this inner knowing or this feeling or just trusting myself like, even though this decision, which I made lots of them this year, makes no logical sense anyone else. There's something in me that says still move forward and still make this decision. And so if you aren't in a place where you can really, truly get quiet, or work with someone, or have a coach, like, challenge your thoughts, or challenge your questions, or just hold space for you to just like, barf everything out, to really get clear and down to the inner voice of like, who, what is the inner voice for you? What is the intuition saying to you, despite what everyone says, despite what's around you, despite what logically on paper makes sense versus like, it's kind of like your, many times this year I was on a path, I could go left or I could go right? And right way, like is safe. I knew it, I could see the path. It was like made so much logical sense. And then my intuitions like no go left. And it didn't, I couldn't see that path at all. But I just had to trust myself. So there has been many, many, many moments. This year, especially but also in the last couple years, where a huge theme of that is getting to know yourself, and recognizing what's the ego voice? What's the fears? versus what's my intuition saying to me. And in order for me to listen my intuition, you have to get quiet. That's just the best and easiest thing that's worked for me. And then I guess I'll end of this to recognizing that I've always figured it out. Like no matter what I decide, I can always trust that I can decide again, it's not set in stone, I can change my mind, I can always figure it out. It always has worked out. And sometimes in moments of like sheer doubt and like terror of like, I don't know if I can do this, having what I call a badass list. If I'm allowed to swear, sure of the things that you've really done and you've already accomplished and what you've already worked through. Because I find you can add more psychology to this. But your brain is always looking for what's wrong, what's negative, and very rarely looks for what's right or what's gone well. And so to have a list or a reminder of like every all your wins, big or small, your accomplishments to redirect Hold on, this is actually what I have done. Your brain doesn't want to remember those things. It's like it's easy to remember the things that went wrong, but not things that weren't good. So in those moments of doubt or decision making, get support around you get quiet and remember everything you already have done and what you have figured out and he always figured out this that's my tangent. Sorry. No, no,
Christine Li 44:55
no, no, no, you answered it beautifully, and I like the badass list. As you said that I thought to myself, I think I actively tried to forget the wind. I don't know what that is about my brain. But I will very much remember the failures more readily
Danya Douglas-Hunt 45:13
on the station. Yeah, totally.
Christine Li 45:15
Yeah. And so I like that idea. I think I might try that one. And I like the support idea, of course, because other people see the growth and enjoy that on our behalf, too. So thank you so much for answering and being willing to do a lovely. Oh, yeah. And my dog has joined us, right. Like, so cute. We are dogs, you pillows.
Danya Douglas-Hunt 45:46
Yeah, you should. Okay, you have to try it. Oh, my gosh, it'd be so fun for you to look back and just even in the day, like, reflect back on what went well, like conversations or how you handle things. And for some people, it's like, what, how do I put on it? They don't have to be big accomplishments. They can just be like, I'm really proud of myself for handling that conversation or being able to shift my state, you know, not letting that one event ruin my whole day? can be anything, but just Yeah, to reinforce like, what's going well, what's working well, what what accomplishments you have experienced, big or small? And to look back on that list, especially in times of doubt, you're like, Hold on, I'm really good. Whatever it is ego boost or not, it's just again, redirecting your attention. Look what you said, off of wasted energy that has nothing for you to what can I create? What can I focus on what have already done? Just reinforces that confidence and self trust to so?
Christine Li 46:34
Yeah, you want to lean towards your goals? You just do?
Danya Douglas-Hunt 46:38
Yeah, I love it. Okay, for you, can you? Maybe let me know if there's anything else you want me to hit on? But I'm just curious, like, where do you see yourself? What direction do you see yourself heading in? You kind of alluded to some fun things this last couple of days. If you like up leveling, I don't know if you want to share any of that. But like, in general, you can ask me this question. I'm like, I don't know. That kind of know. But I can't I'm not this person who's got this specific dial down five year plan. But for you, where do you want to see yourself in five years? What direction you're heading in? What fun goals? Are you working on what projects,
Christine Li 47:13
thank you for asking this, this one I will say also makes me a little bit nervous. But that that's good. And I would say from the start of my work online, I've always been interested in reaching as many people as I possibly can. And that wish has not changed through all the ups and downs and all the lessons. So I would say in five years, I hope to have bigger reach. And to have more people really understanding the things that I've described with you with your help today about personal energy and possibility and moving through life with lighter baggage. And that is, I think, definitely my primary career purpose and why I would say I really enjoy the podcast so much. So if I could do this in some way, more often or more easily, or maybe even on different platforms, I would very much be open to that. I think that would have to get worked through and just reaching different audiences, maybe also, so people who might not be traditionally listening to podcasts or looking for self development that maybe going back to university level going to corporates, I'm open to all things really. So I'm just excited to see where this goes. And on the personal front. I think health and learning will always be up there and fun having more fun travel, and helping other people to reach their potential is really what is fun. It's also my personal goal is just, I do this when I'm not on the podcast and I'm not working. So that is my response there and probably pick up another puppy.
Danya Douglas-Hunt 49:11
Can you get me started? I can have like 10 If I could I'd have like 10 dogs.
Christine Li 49:15
I think I got one before the end of this year coming.
Danya Douglas-Hunt 49:18
Oh, that's exciting. What kind of dog what kind of another the same kind of dog or
Christine Li 49:23
rescue? I'm not so sure we're kind of looking. We're looking right now.
Danya Douglas-Hunt 49:28
I love it. Okay, last two questions. What are you most proud of?
Christine Li 49:33
I am most proud of figuring out self discipline, because this is not a natural, I think high skill of mine. So I think that has given me the biggest payoff. And it's the thing that I keep needing to rely on and I keep using to do whatever I feel like is the new thing. Whatever I want to explore it If it doesn't work out, it's that muscle of showing up not being afraid, showing up again, doing it, even if it hurts that kind of thing. And having a good attitude about things, which the good attitude I think I come with naturally. But it's that follow through all that stuff that I've learned and I've enjoyed, that I'm very proud of being able to do and it's so paid off. So
Danya Douglas-Hunt 50:26
I love it. I love it. Especially because it's like, it's easy to be like self discipline, what but it's like, what the self discipline enables you to do? Is everything, right? So it's not just like, oh, just be more just, it's like, that opens up so many more possibilities and avenues of like, but that's a habit to create, too. So that's massive. Yes. Um, okay, what brings you joy, and then I'm gonna let you end on whatever else you want your listeners to know about you. But what brings you joy, what exhilarates you
Christine Li 50:57
joy is puppies, grown dogs. Being able to use time, the way I want to, so that sense of time freedom, I just came up with that. But that really is a very core need of mine now and privilege that I enjoy now. Yeah. And I just want to give that to our listeners as something that if you don't have that now, that is something you can work towards and develop in your life. Even if it's just for pockets. You want to enjoy that and have those spaces for yourself. So that brings me joy, and then fulfilling my why seeing people light up seeing people have easier, happier times. Every day is a really beautiful thing.
Danya Douglas-Hunt 51:45
I love it. My so similar to me, too. I love it. I love it. Well, okay, thank you so much for being vulnerable and opening up and letting me ask you some questions. Is there anything that you feel like hasn't been asked that you'd be like, Oh, I really want to get this message out there that would like wrap this episode up with a bow. Anything else you want to share?
Christine Li 52:06
I just want to share my gratitude to you, Danya, for being so lovely, so smart, so open and vulnerable to and for partnering with me on the podcast for two episodes, which is such a treat. I want to encourage all of my listeners to follow you to learn from you to work with you. Could you please share again, how people can do that I have no more questions? You've you've done such a beautiful job here. So thank you. Just so fun.
Danya Douglas-Hunt 52:34
You're so kind and I likewise right back at you like this is what I love is connecting with. You know what I'm going to say this but other women as well in this space, like entrepreneur space in this personal development space who are encouraging and a light in expanders in your life. Like, I didn't grow up with a lot of tons of female friends, I would say there's you know, we can open it that can of worms. But it's when you step into kind of what we talked about, like being authentically who you are and that self trust and stepping into arenas where you get to meet other incredible women like yourself. It's just the connections and the bonds and like the learnings from you, too, is just amazing. So thank you. Also, it's been so good to get to know you. People can find me mainly on Instagram @coachdanya. That's where I am. I'll post lots of fun, silly content and serious content. I answer my DMs too, though. So that's easiest place to find me @coachdanya on Instagram.
Christine Li 53:30
Thank you so much. It has been my pleasure to be interviewed by you. There was no need for me to be nervous. And we both wish our listeners to be free. Have fun. And go for it. Go for your big, big vision and dream. Thank you so much, Danya.
Danya Douglas-Hunt 53:51
Act now like you said, it's beautiful. Thank you so much. It's been so fun chatting with you.
Christine Li 53:56
Thank you. Act now people. I will see you next week. Thank you for being here on the Make Time for Success show. Thank you for listening to this episode of The Make Time for Success Podcast. If you enjoyed what you heard, you can subscribe to make sure you get notified of upcoming episodes. You can also visit our website maketimeforsuccesspodcast.com for past episodes, show notes and all the resources we mentioned on the show. Feel free to connect with me over on Instagram too. You can find me there under the name procrastinationcoach. Send me a DM and let me know what your thoughts are about the episodes you've been listening to. And let me know any topics that you might like me to talk about on the show. I'd love to hear all about how you're making time for success. Talk to you soon.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
Danya is a former Olympic Athletic Therapist & Strength and Conditioning coach turned multi-passionate entrepreneur. Her main focus is slaying the “invisible dragons” (self sabotage, limiting beliefs etc) holding back high performing entrepreneurs from their next level of income, impact and inner growth.
She is YES SUPPLY certified Neuro-Linguistic Programming Practitioner (NLP), Life + Success Coach, TIME Techniques™ Practitioner, Clinical Hypnotherapist and an Emotional Freedom Techniques facilitator (EFT).
Outside of her own 1 to 1 and small group coaching, she is trained by and coaches on James Wedmore’s team, and does Performance coaching for Purelife Organics. She has spoken on Tribe Live stage in front of over a thousand attendees and has been featured on multiple podcasts, AppleTV, Roku, and amazon fire. When she isn’t coaching, you can find her either lifting, kickin someones butt in settlers of catan, or adventuring.