Overthinking Everything? The Midlife Woman’s Guide to Beating Decision Fatigue

Dr. Christine Li:
Welcome back to the Make Time for Success podcast. This is episode number 257. If you are a woman in midlife and you've been juggling different roles in your life, parent, caregiver, your job, making decisions about the future, living into your purpose, all of these things, you may also be experiencing a sort of mental heaviness, that kind of heaviness where just making any decision feels like it is taxing and might take the wind out of your sails. Well, in this episode, I'm going to tackle the topic of decision fatigue, which is one of these states that we sometimes fall into because we've got so much going on. And I'm going to share with you what decision fatigue is and a few steps for how to stay clear of it. Let's go listen to this episode together now.

Dr. Christine Li:
Hi, I'm Dr. Christine Li, and I'm a psychologist and a procrastination coach. I've helped thousands of people move past procrastination and overwhelm so they could begin working to their potential. In this podcast, you're going to learn powerful strategies for getting your mind, body, and energy to work together so that you can focus on what's really important.

Dr. Christine Li:
And accomplish the goals you want to achieve. When you start living within your full.

Dr. Christine Li:
Power, you're going to see how being productive can be easy and how you can create success on demand. Welcome to the Make Time for Success podcast.

Dr. Christine Li:
Hi there. In this episode, we're gonna tackle decision fatigue. I'm gonna explain what it is, I'm gonna explain how it creeps up on us in midlife, and I'm gonna share with you some ways to really steer clear of decision fatigue. So first, the definition. What is decision fatigue? I recently have been conversing with different followers on TikTok about the topic of physical clutter. And I post on decision fatigue and clutter and why clutter causes decision fatigue. And that is why we have clutter in our spaces, even though we don't really want it. And one person replied, I'm not sure I really ever heard of the term decision fatigue.

Dr. Christine Li:
And that gave rise to my thinking, Ah, let me make a podcast episode about this very topic. So the definition of, of decision fatigue is the mental depletion that happens when the brain makes too many choices, too many decisions, without recovery time, when we don't have time to rest. And we're making decision after decision after decision, because no matter how big or small the decision is, we are using the same tank of energy to make that decision. It requires brain energy to make any decision. And if you're just making a lot of decisions across the day, you may run the risk of feeling fatigued. That makes sense. But what does it look like to have decision fatigue? Decision fatigue can look like irritability. It could look like when we're having brain fog, when we can't really make a clear decision very well.

Dr. Christine Li:
When you are craving simplicity, you're just wishing that you didn't have so many options. When you are feeling like you really want to procrastinate or avoid what you're doing, or you're feeling like you're of difficulty finishing or following through with a particular task, you just don't feel like you have a lot of energy. Basically, it feels like you're burning out. And that is why I thought it was important to create an episode on this topic, because I don't want you to feel like you're on the verge of burnout. After all, we're trying to make time for success. So the way to create room for success is to make sure that the strategies that we're using day to day protect us from burnout, protect us from decision fatigue. Now, I want to talk for a few minutes about the state of being a midlife woman. Because I think what comes with being a mature adult is sometimes a lot of responsibilities.

Dr. Christine Li:
Responsibilities like having to take care of your family, raising children, taking care of elderly relatives, making decisions about the household, even about what to make for dinner, taking care of other people, emotionally, taking care of yourself, emotionally, living into your purpose. All of these things require decisions all the time. You know what I'm talking about. Because you're living your life and you're making decisions every single day. And I do think that midlife kind of puts us in a state sometimes of believing that we need to have endless energy, because how are we supposed to juggle all of these different roles? Employee, employer, family, participant, community, participant, citizen, all of these things. Athlete, whatever you are, These are all roles that you care about, and these are roles that bring a whole host of decisions to your life all the time. So. So how are we supposed to be great at our roles, be great at decision making and not run out of energy? That is the real question.

Dr. Christine Li:
Well, I'm going to start answering that question. So my first answer to that question is, you really want to be compassionate towards yourself. If you've been listening to this podcast for any length of time, you know, that is something that I really bring up all the time. Being kind to yourself is such a. A high level rock Star Success strategy. Because when we are being kind to ourselves, that means we are not forcing ourselves into any decisions. We are not being hasty with any of our movements. We are caring to make good decisions and we're caring to not stress our brain and body out while making those decisions and choices.

Dr. Christine Li:
So start with compassion. Realize that if you are in a state of decision fatigue or if you're nearing that state, that that is because of biology, it's because you're human. It is not because you are flawed or because you don't know how to make decisions, or because you're irresponsible somehow. It is not a personality flaw. It is really just the state of affairs. It's the state of being overloaded. And it's just some feedback from your brain and body that things might need to change. So instead of yelling at yourself about being tired or without energy, decide, ah, this is an opportunity for me to figure this out.

Dr. Christine Li:
Finally. The state in midlife is this giant opportunity to use your experience, to use your wisdom that you've accumulated all these years to make a better plan, to have some systems in place to delegate the things that you can delegate and share responsibilities with other people so that you don't burn out. So we're going to move away from the myth of needing to have endless energy to figure out how to use midlife as this renewal point where we get to renew our strategies, where we get to question what is worth my energy. And we're going to decide a lot of things are no longer worth our energy. And a lot of things really still remain dear to us and remain important to us and remain even critical to us when it comes to our well being. This season of midlife is a chance to start making energy, smart decisions. We get to simplify our routines, we get to set boundaries with, work with other people sometimes. And we get to reduce the clutter in our lives, both physical and mental emotional clutter.

Dr. Christine Li:
And the first strategy I shared with you a minute ago was to be compassionate towards yourself. The second strategy I'm going to share with you is also really important, and that is that we have to assume our power. We have to be empowered for this to work. Because if you're not feeling like you are occupying your own power, if you're not trusting yourself, if you feel like you have to listen to everybody else's opinion, you're going to be stuck in this indecision. You're going to be stuck wondering if you made the right decision. You're going to be stuck feeling pretty tired when you could be resting. And I am just going to encourage you to use the twin powers of self compassion and self empowerment to really start fresh and to start feeling like, wow, I can really take care of myself these days. Wow, I've been over complicating things, but I've been listening to the Make Time for Success podcast and now I feel like I get to do things in a different way just because I think I can.

Dr. Christine Li:
And then we're going to put some other strategies into action too, because you know, I'm all about strategies. So what we're Going to Do to Beat Decision Fatigue this is a list of five ideas to really protect yourself, your brain and your body from being too tired from all the decisions you have to make. The first is declutter. And yes, I just said even if you're fatigued, you're going to declutter. That is because I believe in my heart of hearts, I believe 100% that when we have clutter, we are living with an actual drain on our energy. Forget having to make decisions. Living with clutter is basically saying, I'm living with a permanent energy drain. Clutter is a physical reminder of things we have not yet decided.

Dr. Christine Li:
It is why we are so tired of making decisions, because we're not making them. Clutter is just sitting there waiting for you to say, do you love it or do you not love it? And does it need to go? So make a decision or two today. You don't have to declutter your whole house. No, not yet. But you do have to do one to three items today. Because we're working on avoiding decision fatigue. So declutter. The second idea to beat decision fatigue is to practice conserving your energy.

Dr. Christine Li:
You are going to learn how to batch your errands. You're going to maybe have an errand day of the week, maybe Tuesday or Wednesday, maybe it's Saturday. Whatever works for you. But instead of doing an errand Monday, doing an errand Thursday night, doing an errand Saturday. You're going to just conserve your energy and do things like that. Maybe tackle all the unread emails all at once. That's batching the behavior and the physical energy use so that you're not draining your body of that energy all throughout the week. So learn to batch, learn to automate, learn to delegate.

Dr. Christine Li:
The third strategy for beating decision fatigue is nurturing your body and mind. That means drinking water, keeping yourself hydrated, moving throughout the day, moving with exercise, and with the intention of living a healthy, vital life. Being mindful is also a way of nurturing your energy. Instead of thinking about the past and all the regrets and all the things you didn't get to do or worrying about the future and all the things you feel like you can't control and that you're worried about, you're going to keep yourself rooted in the present moment. Thinking, what can I do now? Or what can I release now so that I don't have to feel like I need to do everything all the time? Nurture your body and mind. The fourth tip for beating decision fatigue is to start trusting your intuition at a deeper level. Your intuition can help you with your decisions. That's the truth of it.

Dr. Christine Li:
Your decisions don't have to be like you're learning to foreign languages at the same time, because most things that we have to make decisions on, we already have our sense of how it's going to go or how we feel or what we prefer or what we need to do. Those are all part of what we already know. It's our that inner knowing. That's our intuition. Inner teacher is what intuition means. So rely on what your intuition is telling you and make your decision process that much easier and quicker. You don't have to struggle all the time. Your intuition is backing you up all the time.

Dr. Christine Li:
And the last strategy for beating decision fatigue is to plan once and rest more often. Plan once and rest more often. I am someone who is. I'm not a natural planner, but I have learned to really value the act of planning something right. Whether it's a trip that's coming up or an upcoming launch that I'm doing with my audience, or it's figuring out what I need to buy at the grocery store. I have found that doing five minutes of planning will save way more than five minutes on the other side of the planning situation. And that's what I mean by plan once. Rest more.

Dr. Christine Li:
Spend a little time mapping out how you want things to go, how you think things should go, and then rest on that plan. Believe in that plan. Make sure that plan happens with your empowerment and your self compassion. And then rest. Right? If you've been depleted and you're listening to this episode feeling really burnt out, decide to put rest first. Forget all the other things I said and just give yourself the freedom to rest. Give yourself permission to rest. I think this is so important to be gentle with yourself.

Dr. Christine Li:
Actually, next week's episode we're going to have the author of the new book Gentle Courtney Carver. And it's a fantastic episode. It's a fantastic book and I thought I would plug it here while I speak about being compassionate towards yourself. So to review these strategies for beating decision fatigue, we're going to declutter. We're going to practice conserving energy, nurturing your body and mind, trusting your intuition more and learning how to plan more so you can rest more. And we just have to remind ourselves that we're going to be okay. Right? I think sometimes when we don't believe that decisions get to feel really heavy and scary and like we can't really figure it out. Like we only have one chance in life to do things.

Dr. Christine Li:
And I think more often than not, decisions aren't actually that weighty. They might feel weighty, but in the end, you just have to make the decision. That's the thing that will change things. And yes, it is consequential, but it doesn't have to scare you because you're powerful, because you know yourself, because you're a midlife woman. And you know a good thing when you see it and you know a bad thing when you see it. And you can now trust yourself at a deeper level. So go avoid decision fatigue. Go live your life.

Dr. Christine Li:
Go be gentler with yourself and rest, rest, rest when you can. I can't wait to hear the outcomes of your efforts. Feel free to share what you're going to change, if anything, because of this episode, so that you can avoid decision fatigue. I do hope you change something because decision fatigue is not something that we want to saddle our brains and bodies with. We want to have a clear mind, clear body, as often as we can. If you'd like to share any reactions or responses to this episode, please direct message me over on Instagram at procrastination Coach. And I also want to invite you to my upcoming live five day challenge for decluttering. It is called Re Energize your Home.

Dr. Christine Li:
It's a five day challenge. I've run it 10 times before. This is time 11 and we're going to start on November 17th. It's a Monday together to get the clutter out of our spaces so we can feel refreshed, so that we can feel re energized and rejuvenated. It is going to be fantastic and I can't wait to see you there. If you'd like to join, go to maketime4successpodcast.com/November Again, it's maketimeforsuccesspodcast.com/November. You'll get the registration form, you'll send me your name and email address and then we'll be off to the races. All right, that wraps up today's session.

Dr. Christine Li:
Thanks so much for being here on the Make Time for Success podcast. Go get them or rest, whichever one you need to do now. Take care.

Dr. Christine Li:
Thank you for listening to this episode of the Make Time for Success podcast.

Dr. Christine Li:
If you enjoyed what you've heard, you.

Dr. Christine Li:
Can subscribe to make sure you get notified of upcoming episodes. You can also Visit our website maketimeforsuccesspodcast.com for past episodes, show notes and all the resources we mention on the show. Feel free to connect with me over on Instagram too. You can find me there under the name Procrastination Coach. Send me a DM and let me know what your thoughts are about the episodes you've been listening to and let me know any topics that you might like me to talk about on the show. I'd love to hear all about how you're making Time for Success.

Dr. Christine Li:
Talk to you soon.