The Clutter-Guilt Cycle (Part 2): Decluttering Without the Shame Spiral

Dr. Christine Li [00:00:00]:
Welcome back to the Make Time for Success podcast. This is episode 299. You are listening to part 2 of a 2-part episode series on clutter and guilt. They are some heavy topics for me to select for you, but I think it's material that we need to talk about, we need to cope with, and we need to succeed with as well. In the first part, in episode 298, we talked all about why clutter is such a difficult problem to handle. The emotions, the energy loss, the weight of the physical clutter, and the blockage that it causes in our homes. That is all covered in the first episode. If you haven't listened to it, feel free to listen to that at some point.

Dr. Christine Li [00:00:50]:
Today, we're going to walk into a brighter experience, an experience where we learn how to deal and cope and release the clutter successfully. And even with a dose of extra joy, I've got 4 strategies for you to try on. And at the end of the episode, I have a real invitation to work with me in real life for free on this decluttering issue. So Let's go listen to all of this material together now.

Dr. Christine Li [00:01:28]:
Hi, I'm Dr. Christine Li, and I'm a psychologist and a procrastination coach. I've helped thousands of people move past procrastination and overwhelm so they could begin working to their potential. In this podcast, you're going to learn powerful strategies for getting your mind, body, and energy to work together so that you can focus on what's really important And accomplish the goals you want to achieve. When you start living within your full power, you're going to see how being productive can be easy and how you can create success on demand. Welcome to the Make Time for Success podcast.

Dr. Christine Li [00:02:11]:
In the last episode, we took a deep dive into why clutter becomes such an aversive factor and force in our lives and in our homes. We talked about how clutter can suck away our time, our focus, our energy, and it can also generate lots of negative feelings that really we don't want to be battling with for a long time. Feelings like guilt and shame. So now that we've established that clutter really does pose a problem in our lives, What do we do about the issue? How do we tackle it when it has built up such a fortress of negativity to counter our best-laid plans? We want to have a clean home, but we're facing down perhaps a wall or several rooms or a garage full of clutter. Well, that's what we're going to tackle in today's episode, and I'm very happy to be. your guide through this. I think in order to start answering the question of how do we finally deal with the clutter, we have to start with the topic of how do we just achieve success in the first place? And I found something on social media a couple of weeks ago. I didn't record the account name, so I apologize to the person who posted this, but I did feel it was important to share here.

Dr. Christine Li [00:03:38]:
So success happens when we have momentum, and momentum happens when we have consistency, and consistency happens when we have habits that are well-established and healthy, and good, well-established habits happen when we find that we're doing things that are pleasurable. So this post had a lovely way of summarizing the path to success. We basically start with an act of pleasure, and then we find our way to success. No matter how long it takes, we're gonna get there. And so, of course, there are other factors like commitment and discipline and making space. But the core fact that I wanted to have you understand here is that we have to be happy. We have to have some bit of joy.

Dr. Christine Li [00:04:32]:
Mm-hmm.

Dr. Christine Li [00:04:33]:
connected with our actions. Otherwise, the foe, our clutter foe, is going to win because clutter is very powerful. It's energized, it's negative. Sometimes it's taking up all your space. So we need to find something equally or more powerful. And I think that really is joy and pleasure. So now the question becomes, how do we find joy when we're decluttering? And some of you may be laughing in your cars or on the treadmill. Or over the kitchen sink, because really decluttering is generally not associated with joy.

Dr. Christine Li [00:05:10]:
Well, we're going to change that today. So I have 4 ideas for you to get that pathway started and opened up for you. The first idea is that we always have to remember what the end goal is. Your end goal likely does not include Roomfuls of clutter. It actually might include things like starting a new business, moving homes, downsizing, getting in shape, getting more energized, doing something that makes you happy, like a new hobby, spending more time with people you love. Those are wonderful goals, and goals should be and feel wonderfully to you. And I want you to know that living clutter-free Means that you're going to have a straight path towards your beautiful, energized, clear goal. You're going to, without clutter, have a better mood.

Dr. Christine Li [00:06:10]:
You're going to be connected with the abundance in your life. You're going to have literally more space. You are going to feel that heaviness that is associated with the clutter. Is going to be a thing of the past. So always keep your eyes trained on your goals. I would tell you that whether we were talking about clutter or any other factor that you wanted to get through, always have your eyes on the goal. I think that's one of the biggest reasons why people don't achieve success, even though they want to, is that they forget what pathway they're on. They forget.

Dr. Christine Li [00:06:48]:
The goals that they wanted to achieve. Coincidentally, on the day of the recording of this episode is the day that the world found out that Dolly Parton passed away. And I'm going to slip in just praise for her here while I can. She is someone who, when she saw a need, she just acted to fill it. We all know this. We've all been touched by her genius and her gifts and her work and her heart. And I want to say that she touched the part of us that cared, the part of us that was alive, the part of us that knew there was something better tomorrow if we just put two and two together, if we just tried a little bit more. So if you're stuck, but you do have a goal, I would say invoke the spirit of Dolly, who is now in the heavens.

Dr. Christine Li [00:07:46]:
And decide, I'm going to take a different path. I'm going to be a success instead of thinking that this failure feeling is going to be permanent. So rest well, Dolly.

Dr. Christine Li [00:07:58]:
All right.

Dr. Christine Li [00:07:58]:
The second thought I have for you is you have to make sure you conserve your energy. So much of the reason why clutter is so draining of our energy is because it saps our energy. Just thinking about it is kind of depressing. And heavy and distracting. And so it doesn't let us be light. And so in order for us to make our way through the clutter, in order for us to learn how to let go of clutter piece by piece, we have to make sure that we are protecting our energy while we are decluttering. That can happen in any number of ways, fortunately. What I recommend to my clients And audience is to deal with 1 to 3 items at a time.

Dr. Christine Li [00:08:45]:
If that is what you can do, that is wonderful. It may sound really teeny tiny to you, but guess what? It makes all the difference to get those 3 things out of your space instead of having to look at those same 3 things over and over and over again. So you get to choose. You could do my 1 to 3 items a day technique, or you can take a section. Or you could take a timer and do 15 minutes or half an hour. It is up to you. You could play Dolly Parton music and honor her and do a section just for her. Whatever it is, make sure that your energy is not going out with the clutter.

Dr. Christine Li [00:09:23]:
It's that you get to experience releasing the things that no longer serve you, and then you get to replace and replenish that energy. So not only are you going to protect your energy, I want you to completely change your mindset about what decluttering will do. Instead of feeling like it is a pure drain on your energy, remember that it's going to bring your missing energy back to you. I think that is going to be a wonderful fix to the leaky bucket that clutter tends to put in our midst. And we're going to patch up that bucket and we're going to use that bucket to get 2 or 3 items out of your space today before the end of the day. That would be fantastic. The 3rd suggestion that I have for you is that you want to be able to mark your progress with celebration. You've probably heard me express the importance of celebrating here on the podcast before because I say it repeatedly because people who are stuck with clutter or procrastination or negative habits, habits that they want to get rid of, most of the time they are letting the status quo run without changing it.

Dr. Christine Li [00:10:38]:
So that's one issue. But they're also, when they do get around to changing it, they don't celebrate the change. And then what happens? The status quo feels like it didn't change. And then we slide backwards into the original position. So I do not want— You to go through that. I don't want you to go through an endless cycle of repeated starts without finishing. Our new goal is to have a really bright and shiny end goal. We're going to protect our energy while we're decluttering, and we're going to celebrate every step of the way.

Dr. Christine Li [00:11:15]:
Every time you release an item, you say thank you. You give gratitude. You remember the person who gave you the item and tell them you're happier without the item. And we're all good. You know, you're just going to talk yourself through it, but you're going to celebrate. It's not going to be doom and gloom anymore. It's not going to be the dread of the clutter wait. It's going to be a joyful scenario.

Dr. Christine Li [00:11:40]:
It's going to be like a party now.

Dr. Christine Li [00:11:42]:
Okay.

Dr. Christine Li [00:11:43]:
Now, the last idea that I have for you to make clutter more pleasurable is you're going to remember That you're going to be a clutter-free homeowner and that you're the big boss of this scenario. You got to think that you're larger than life, like Dolly Parton was to all of us. She had such an impact in the world, and you're going to have impact like that too. But first, you got to fix your home, right? Because our home is our launchpad. Our home is our sanctuary. Our home is our place of reconnection and rejuvenation and spirit. So let's get this space cleared up and cleaned up as soon as possible in as sane a way as possible so that we can really live with positivity, right? Negativity doesn't get you to where you want to go. Your dreams are big.

Dr. Christine Li [00:12:41]:
Your dreams are real. Your dreams are doable. And we need to take ownership of our responsibility of taking action to get to fulfill those dreams, to fulfill that potential to have an impact in the world. Now, if you don't want to have an impact in the world, no problem. But I know that many of you really do. You have big aspirations, and you know you have talents to share with other people. And I love that for you, and I want to help you. Get that action going.

Dr. Christine Li [00:13:15]:
Okay? So to summarize, make sure you enjoy yourself, and that should just be a life lesson, just living every day. Look for the positive, look for the pleasure, keep your eyes on the goal, protect yourself as if you are the most valuable thing on the planet, because you are one of the most valuable things on the planet. Sometimes we forget. To treat ourselves with that level of care and kindness and intelligence. We need to be smart about how we're using our personal resources, but also know that it's OK to party along the way to success. It's OK to feel like you're in power, like you know what you're doing, like there is no way you're going to fail. Actually, you are definitely going to succeed. We're going to put it in the positive.

Dr. Christine Li [00:14:05]:
And then we're just going to make a plan to get this to happen. If you would like full support for decluttering, I have just the ticket for you. I'm about to run again my Reenergize Your Home 5-Day Challenge. It has been quite the successful pathway for hundreds of people in the past 3 years. We are about to run the 15th round of the challenge. We start on September 14th in just a few days. And to join this free program, it will take you about a week. You just go to maketimeforsuccesspodcast.com/clutterfree.

Dr. Christine Li [00:14:50]:
Again, it's maketimeforsuccesspodcast.com/clutterfree. Just send me your name and your email address and I'll get you all the information you need to be decluttering with me and hundreds of other people who are on the same success path as you. I can't wait to work with you soon. Thanks so much for listening to this 2-part series on clutter guilt and getting out of this nasty spiral. Enjoy.

Dr. Christine Li [00:15:21]:
Thank you for listening to this episode of the Make Time for Success podcast. If you enjoyed what you heard, You can subscribe to make sure you get notified of upcoming episodes. You can also visit our website, maketimeforsuccesspodcast.com, for past episodes, show notes, and all the resources we mention on the show. Feel free to connect with me over on Instagram too. You can find me there under the name Procrastination Coach. Send me a DM and let me know what your thoughts are about the episodes you've been listening to. And let me know any topics that you might like me to talk about on the show. I'd love to hear all about how you're making time for success.

Dr. Christine Li [00:16:01]:
Talk to you soon.