The GAP Between Procrastination and Progress: A 5-Step Habit Reset

Dr. Christine Li [00:00:00]:
Welcome back to the Make Time for Success podcast. This is episode number 291. If you happen to currently be procrastinating on something in your life, in your house, wherever, this is the episode for you to listen to right away. So you are in the perfect spot. This episode tells you how to get over that gap that procrastination creates. You have this idea of something that needs to get done, something that you want to get done, something that you've been meaning to get done, but lo and behold, you find yourself still thinking about it and looking at it and staring at it without any action. This episode will give you the five steps that I share with my clients to help them develop a quick seven day habit. A habit that is newly established within the space of just one short week.

Dr. Christine Li [00:00:55]:
And I promise you that this process really is effective because it helps you to examine what is going to be necessary to give you the energy to jump over the gap. And I promise you, you have that energy within you already. Let's go find it together by listening to this episode together now. Hi, I'm Dr. Christine Li and I'm a psychologist and a procrastination coach. I've helped thousands of people move past procrastination and overwhelm so they could begin working to their potential. In this podcast, you're going to learn powerful strategies for getting your mind, body and energy to work together so that you can focus on what's really important and accomplish the goals you want to achieve. When you start living within your full power, you're going to see how being productive can be easy and how you can create success on demand.

Dr. Christine Li [00:01:58]:
Welcome to the Make Time for Success podcast. So this morning, as I was inside my smallish laundry room and trying to tidy up there, I realized that all procrastination is, is simply avoiding tasks that we think are aversive, which means we think they are not fun, that they're hard, that they're dirty, that they're tiring, that they're going to make us exhausted. And I think we're kind of doing this off and on throughout the day because we are intelligently trying to conserve and reserve our good, healthy energy so that we have enough for the things that we actually need, need and want to do. But the problem with this, this procrastination around things like tidying the laundry room is that our spaces get cluttered and our schedules get stuffed and our minds also get cluttered with everything that is undone. All the projects, all the tasks that maybe we thought were too hard to deal with when they first came into view. And now everything is piling up here, there and everywhere. The other thing that we miss out when we procrastinate is the gratification of having things just right. That they're done, they're completed, they're submitted, they're tidied and they're finished.

Dr. Christine Li [00:03:38]:
So all of this time spent avoiding things, avoiding the, this five minute pickup in the laundry area, that just leads to more stress down the road. So we are blocking the goal from being achieved, but we're also blocking our satisfaction, that feeling of happiness, that feeling of contentment, that feeling of gratification and pleasure that comes when things are done. So that was this morning. I have been thinking about composing an episode on how to develop habits quickly for a while. And today I'm going to share with you my strategy and how I teach my clients how to build a habit quickly. And by quickly I mean about five to seven days. So you need a week's framework and I think all of us have that time, but we might not have the initiation energy. And initiation energy is the energy that we need to conquer the gap.

Dr. Christine Li [00:04:48]:
And the gap is that space between the need, like the laundry room needs to be tidied and the start of the decluttering or the tidying. So it's that gap where we are feeling a little bit uneasy, we're feeling a little irritable, we're debating with ourselves whether we should move or not. I want to help you get over that gap with one issue today, this week, and we're going to do that together. And I promise you this strategy is really effective. But the key is you have to apply it. Without the initiation energy for this 7 day habit starter idea, you'll find yourself in the same stuck, procrastinating place. So I really advise you that while you're driving and listening to this episode, or if you're on the treadmill or you're cooking, whatever you're doing, get one idea for yourself for this seven day experiment and then lock into it because we need to start creating this energy, this initiation energy, this momentum, and then we get the gratification. The cost of not doing this is really big.

Dr. Christine Li [00:06:08]:
The gap stays wide open. We don't get to use our energy, we don't see our beautiful spaces tidied up and we're in this suspended in between space. Very yucky, I think. So by doing this seven day strategy, you get to see a different part of yourself, that active, purposeful, self directed part of yourself. And that's A lot more powerful than any procrastination could ever be. So let's get ourselves over that gap. Now here are the five steps that are necessary for the leaping over the gap to happen. The first thing I've already mentioned, you need to choose one thing and one thing only to focus on.

Dr. Christine Li [00:06:55]:
I want you to state it to yourself, write it down, define it, and be very, very specific about what you want to see happen. I want you to say the location, I want you to designate the deadline. So seven days from now, I want you to describe what you're going to do each of the seven days, or maybe five of the seven days. So as an example, I would write, have the laundry room be clutter free and clear of extra stuff by Sunday at 5 o'. Clock. So that's just an example. You make up your own and it's just between you and you, but make a target for yourself. Because guess what happens when you do that? Your brain knows what you want.

Dr. Christine Li [00:07:43]:
When you're just staring at the different rooms in your house, your brain is just staring along with you. It needs direction. It is built to follow your directions. So give it specific and followable directions. The second step in this exercise is I would like you to commit to that project and that project alone. When we multitask, when we say, but I've got the other rooms too, then we kind of suppress our ability to really nail it. We get distracted, we get overwhelmed, we get frustrated, we get hopeless. And hopelessness and procrastination are kind of cousins.

Dr. Christine Li [00:08:28]:
And you don't want to be with those family members. You want to say, I've got this. And that's what commitment involves. It's saying to yourself, there is nothing that will get in the way of my doing this one thing for seven days. There is literally nothing. No one, no circumstance, nothing. And that is what we call commitment. And by the way, commitment is an essential part of positive habit formation.

Dr. Christine Li [00:08:57]:
Because when we have old habits, we are committed to the old habits until we transform the commitment. We need to make a new commitment in order for a new habit to get established. I will repeat that. We need to commit to the new habit in order for the new habit to be established. Otherwise the old habit will retain its dominance and power over you and your life. Because that's what habits do. Nothing against you is just how habits work. So learn commitment.

Dr. Christine Li [00:09:33]:
Remember, commitment means nothing and no one will get in the way of of you. Attending to this focus issue that you've chosen. Step number three, I recommend giving yourself a framework of five to seven days and not looking beyond that. I mean, it'll be great if you want to keep that for 21 days, for 68 days. All the numbers that they throw out when they talk about habit formation, it's totally fine. But I want to get you through the first week because I do feel like that first week is critical again. That starting energy, that focus, that acceptance that you are just going to commit to this one thing that all needs to get shaped and put into place. You need to settle your, your internal operating system to say, all right, I've got these things locked down, let's go.

Dr. Christine Li [00:10:25]:
We're doing this for a week. That's it. We're not going to be overwhelmed by just a week of our life. It's good. It's good that way. Let's get away from the overwhelm. Look at it as a simple thing to do rather than this giant mountain that you have to climb. Step number four is I would love for you to figure out how you're going to track your efforts and your progress.

Dr. Christine Li [00:10:50]:
Notice that I separate efforts and progress. Just because you try doesn't mean you will succeed. I hope you succeed, of course. But I have had clients who come back after being assigned the seven day exercise and they say, well, I did two out of the four initial days and I celebrate with them because we have to practice celebrating, starting and having some progress. We are not perfect beings. All we're doing right now is we're just learning how to be new habit starters. So those clients who come saying that they did two out of four with their shoulders down maybe and feeling like they might have done something wrong, they haven't. They've participated.

Dr. Christine Li [00:11:36]:
So mark your efforts. On what days did you make the effort and on what days did you have success? And if you have seven out of seven, terrific. If you had three out of seven, also terrific. Because that means again that you started. But I do need you to figure out how you're going to track this. It could be as simple as a post it note, an old notebook, a whiteboard, your phone, something near your bathroom mirror. That's great too. Just something that you're going to be able to see so that it becomes a reminder for the project and the experiment of the seven days.

Dr. Christine Li [00:12:12]:
But also something that you can run to and check off that you've done the thing as part of your celebration for getting that particular piece done. No more avoidance. No more thinking that procrastination is easier. It is so easy to track your efforts, especially when you're proud of yourself. So try this out. It's way more fun than avoiding what just needs to be done. What is calling you to get it done. We just want to make more progress with the smaller things.

Dr. Christine Li [00:12:46]:
It makes everything that much easier. The final step in this experiment is we want to go get yourself the identity that you're looking for. You want that new identity. You want to be the doer. You want to move away from the procrastination identity. These identities are all temporary, so no judgment. Sometimes we all lock into the procrastination. But here I am trying to encourage you, to coax you, to inspire you, to try on this new identity of the doer.

Dr. Christine Li [00:13:22]:
You can absolutely do it. But you have to go out and seek the evidence of this new identity. That means do the project that you've selected, commit to it, track it, enjoy it, celebrate it, celebrate your new identity, and then breathe again. Right? Because it's just another week of your life and maybe tell someone about it. So maybe they can do the same experiment. Because you are no longer a procrastinator when you've nailed this experiment down. Because then the week after, you can choose something new and develop momentum in that space and area of your life as well. You are a habit doer.

Dr. Christine Li [00:14:08]:
What I have found when I've coached people to do this experiment is a lot of things, but I think the primary thing is that people feel lighter when they feel like they have a framework that they can use. They feel lighter when they've begun the thing that was just staring them in the face and they had been avoiding the thing. So go for the lightness. Don't assume that doing this exercise is going to be heavy. It's not. It's going to be the opposite. It's going to be a release, a relief, a celebration for you. So go celebrate.

Dr. Christine Li [00:14:43]:
All right. I want to mention there was a study done at the University of South Australia, a study involving 2,600 people. And they were looking at the process of habit formation and how long it takes people, 2,600 people, to establish a new habit. And they found that this timeline ranged from as little as four days to as long as a year. And that varied depending on the person and the behavior that they were trying to do. So that makes sense because we're all different, we're all unique. But this finding shows us that it is true that all it takes is five to seven days. We can assume from the findings that five to seven days is suitable for initiating a new habit.

Dr. Christine Li [00:15:38]:
I'm not saying that you might automate that habit in as short a time as five to seven days. But you are going to at least prove to yourself, get yourself the evidence that you are capable of moving the needle that you are capable of moving, period. That you are okay with the process of change and that new habits can be brought into your life and old habits can be retired in the process. So believe in yourself, believe that seven days is enough, believe that tracking will support you, and then go get that evidence. It is really our lack of self belief that is what stops us. It's not the external variables, it's not how busy we are, it's not time. It's really our lack of belief in ourselves that is the big block in our lives. So let's face that block, let's eliminate it, let's dissolve it.

Dr. Christine Li [00:16:36]:
Let's celebrate the fact that we have tools, we have podcasts, we have people to support us, we have ourselves, our own wishes guiding our way forward. Let's go do this and then Tell me about it. Send me a direct message on Instagram I'm Procrastination Coach on Instagram. I want to hear all of your wins and if you'd like a free worksheet to help you design and track your seven day new habit, you can go to maketimeforsuccesspodcast.com/habitsuccess again maketimeforsuccesspodcast.com/habitsuccess a single habit habit Success because we remember we're just picking one I hope you've enjoyed this episode. I know it's going to get you to a new space and identity when you try. Bye. Thank you for listening to this episode of the Make Time for Success podcast. If you enjoyed what you've heard, you can subscribe to make sure you get notified of upcoming episodes.

Dr. Christine Li [00:17:46]:
You can also visit our website maketimeforsuccesspodcast.com for past episodes, show notes, and all the resources we mention on the show. Feel free to connect with me over on Instagram too. You can find me there under the name Procrastination Coach. Send me a DM and let me know what your thoughts are about the episodes you've been listening to and let me know any topics that you might like me to talk about on the show. I'd love to hear all about how you're making Time for Success. Talk to you soon.