April 22, 2021

The Power of Being You: Rising above Your Fear of Judgment with Natasha Nurse

The Power of Being You: Rising above Your Fear of Judgment with Natasha Nurse

When you begin to accept who you truly are, you begin to expand and grow. I’m not referring to the things others think you are, but you, the real you -- the you that you believe is your truest self. It’s when we begin to listen to ourselves, not others, where we begin to see the change and start understanding that we hold so much power when we stop worrying about what others think or say about us. Wondering or assuming what others want, need, and think creates a limit to who we can become as we are allowing them to take control of our thoughts, goals and how much we can truly motivate ourselves.

In this episode, Natasha Nurse speaks to us about her personal journey pushing the boundaries of her own self-belief. She teaches us how to see ourselves as being limitless and how to create impact and how to live our days without fear and judgment determining how we should get things done.

Natasha Nurse is a coach, magazine editor, licensed attorney, co-host of the WokeNFree podcast, and the founder of DressingRoom8. Her colorful life experiences led her to the area of diversity and inclusion which is one of the reasons she started DressingRoom8, a space for women who seek coaching and the opportunity to learn how to be comfortable in their own skin, physically and mentally.

Timestamps: 

[2:20] Natasha and her ever-expanding limitless mindset

[7:35] Why the power of fear holds us back

[12:25] When it comes down to it, the only thing stopping you from your goals is you

[14:21] Natasha’s experience working in diversity and inclusion and how she learned how to create change from the inside

[25:36] Question what is truly going to make you happy, and do it!

__________________________________________________________

For more information on the Make Time for Success podcast, visit:

https://www.maketimeforsuccesspodcast.com

 

Connect with Us!

 

Dr. Christine Li [host] -

Website: https://www.procrastinationcoach.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/procrastinationcoach

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/procrastinationcoach/


Natasha Nurse [guest] -

Website: https://www.wokenfree.com/ and https://www.dressingroom8.com/ 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/wokenfree/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wokenfree/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/natashamnurse/ 

Book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08LV5WYBT



Transcript

Christine Li:

Hi, everyone. Welcome back to the show. This is Episode 19. Are you currently on the fence about making a big life change or a big career move? Or are you struggling with your inner voice that might be telling you to hold your horses? Today's episode is probably going to get you moving my friend. Why? Because I've got Natasha nurse on the show, and she is a force of nature, and a truly inspirational speaker. Natasha is a lawyer, diversity and inclusion expert, podcast host, fashion blogger, wife, and soon to be mom, and all around power player in life. Let's go listen to what she has to share with us about living life as we were meant to. Hi, I'm Dr. Christine Li and I'm a psychologist and a procrastination coach. I've helped 1000s of people move past procrastination and overwhelm so they can begin working to their potential. In this podcast, you're going to learn powerful strategies for getting your mind, body and energy to work together. So that you can focus on what's really important, and accomplish the goals you want to achieve. When you start living within your full power, you're going to see how being productive can be easy, and how you can create success on demand. Welcome to the make time for success podcast. Hi everyone. Today I am excited to bring you my special guest Natasha nurse who is just good at all the things I think she's good at communication, expressing herself, sharing her energy, sharing her wisdom, and sharing her dreams with the world. And so I'm so happy to have you here. Natasha. Welcome to the show.

Natasha Nurse:

Thank you. Hello, everyone. You are so incredibly sweet and kind. Thank

Christine Li:

you. So Natasha, please give our audience members a sense of who you are, and the different kinds of things you're doing these days.

Natasha Nurse:

Absolutely. So my story's really non traditional, I think is the best way to describe it. I am a girl who was born and raised in Manhattan, New York, I am a New Yorker at heart, but happily been living in Arizona, very west of Phoenix, with my husband going on two years now. And if you've never been, we always plug Arizona, it's one of the most beautiful places to ever live in visit. We love it here, especially near Phoenix. And for us. I guess my story began with wanting to just be a person who didn't ever want to live in myself. My one of the people who really influenced me the most was my Angelo. And why was because of her as a writer, her as a content creator, and her as a dreamer. And she had many titles, she was a poet, she was an actress, she was a director, she made films, I mean, she just did so many different things. And by living through representation, which is what human beings do, I saw that because she could do many, many different things that I too, could be many, many different people do many, many different things. So I'm a coach, I like to work with my clients on accountability on medium career oriented coaching. I'm a content creator. So you'll see videos and pictorial images that I've designed and put out in the world to inspire people personally and professionally. I am a podcaster, proud podcaster of from woken free with my husband, we started it over three years ago, and it has been one of the greatest joys personally and professionally and for our marriage, you know, we like to say the couple that podcast together stay together. And because yes, you can be in love with someone, but you should also create something out of that love right outside of children, we are expecting our side. And so that will be another expression of our love. We also wanted to put out some positive impact in the world through our marriage and through showing Hey, black love exists, hey, you can be on the right side of a decision and I can be on the left side and we can peaceably and smile and disagree with each other and have great meaningful entertaining educational conversations with each other. So that's what woken free is all about. And outside of that I you know, I just tried to be a strong feminist and a strong influencer to help people understand that you are who you are, and you are purposely incredibly made to be who you are in this world. And don't ever let the world define you or limit you because the world is what you make of it. And you just have to go out there and just do you and have as much fun and as much positive impact as you can.

Christine Li:

Thank you so much. I think you've already just created the positive impact and we just

Unknown:

got As we've just

Christine Li:

gotten started, I, of course, have to ask the question, Have you always been this limitless? You said Maya Angelou was your inspiration? Did you come out of the womb this

Natasha Nurse:

way? So no, I would say as I've gotten older, I've been much more bolder. But I've always been outspoken. I've always, as a child, my parents looked at me, my mom and dad are from Kingston, Jamaica. And so Caribbean culture can be very stifling, right? Because it's very much they're very focused on presentation. How are you presenting? How are your children doing in school, I come from a family where on my mom's side, my mom is one of six. I have several cousins that are doctors and lawyers. And so there was a lot of expectation for me to professionally succeed. And so I too, am a lawyer, trained lawyer from New York, I'm their licensed attorney, I of course, went a different route and went into a space where I work in diversity inclusion, I have my own business, I have my own podcast, right, like things like that. But ultimately, I knew that I always wanted to be true to myself, because I felt growing up in New York, I think New York is a really interesting breeding ground of individualism. So even though my parents probably would wish that I wasn't as outspoken, or as free as I am, I couldn't help but be that because, you know, I was exposed to so many different cultures, so many different sexual orientations. You know, I remember seeing all these variety of human beings. And I just thought, Wow, that's so remarkable. And I always wanted to be a champion for the gay community, for the trans community for other people of color. And I think that for me, unfortunately, as a black woman, I haven't always received that from the world. So I always took it upon myself that hey, I wish people would accept me for being who I am. I wish people would would accept my blackness, my womanhood. And so I owe other people that acceptance, and I owe other people that encouragement to like, hey, do you be you, because that's, that's what I want out of the world. And I do believe that, you get what you put out. So I'm constantly trying to be that affirmation of freedom, because if I can give it to others, and hopefully they can give it to me, and then we can just all just live in a free ain embodying powerful place and positive world. But you know, it's a journey, it takes many of us to do this.

Christine Li:

I would agree. I'm gonna take your word you said you get what you put out? Yeah. What is your own theory or philosophy about what keeps people shrunken and afraid to put themselves out more in the world?

Natasha Nurse:

Absolutely. So I think a lot of it is fear, fear of how you're going to be received fear of the consequence, right? Sometimes, depending on what career you have, or where you live in this world, or what body you come into this world, as you can be punished and crucified for being your authentic self, right. And so people are afraid of being punished, people are afraid of being judged. And, and they also are not always encouraged. I wasn't necessarily encouraged to be who I am. But I took it upon myself to say, Hey, I'm going to be who I'm going to be. And whether I get supported or not, I have to be honest with myself, I have to look at myself in the mirror. And if I can't be proud of the person I'm looking at, then that's a problem with me, regardless of how other people if they like it or not like it, right? Some people love me. Some people are like, oh, gosh, cost too much. And it is what it is. And I realize you're never going to please everyone you never will. So why try. It's like it's an impossible feat. Because you're never going to be exactly what other people need. But you need to be who you need to be to feel good at the end of your journey, right life, you're here for like a minute. And then you're gone. Are you gonna waste that minute caring and being so invested in what strangers think about you, because guess what, it's going to ruin your life, it will ruin and make you feel like you didn't live your life purpose. And I think that that's really sad to be on a planet and have this opportunity to do amazing things. And you just not do it because of fear or because you just don't know how it's going to be received. You're bigger than that. You're better than that. And so they have to release from it.

Christine Li:

Yes, yeah. So thank you for that encouragement to us all to really thrive in your natural gifts and who you are and where you can go. Absolutely. I feel like asking you about dressing room eight right now because I think that you created a forum for people to express themselves. Yeah, with dressing roommate. Could you describe that? Yeah, more detail.

Natasha Nurse:

Yeah, so the restroom is my lifestyle and coaching blog, where I geared actually that the platform for women because as a woman in the workplace, I really wanted to create a space where women felt like they could learn about how to be a better woman and how to be a stronger person in the workplace. Because as you know, we as women can face certain things in the workplace. As a bigger body of women. I also wanted to create content that touched on fashion and life style things because, you know, sometimes it's challenging to know what to wear, and not be perceived a certain way and not be attacked for, you know, a certain type of hairstyle or dress code that you prefer. And I also wanted people to understand how they could embrace their womanhood, you know, we are powerful, a powerful gender, right. And life literally wouldn't be here without us. So we need to understand except and hone in and focus and use this power within us. Because not to say that men are not powerful. Of course they are. But women were the creators of life, which means we can do anything and everything. So like, let's walk into the to the boardrooms and know that and feel that even if we're the only one there, let's walk into the classrooms, let's be there and be present with our families with our loved ones. And let people understand that I'm not going to shrink, I am not going to ask for space, I'm going to make space for myself in every aspect of my life, no matter what. There you go.

Unknown:

Okay, great.

Christine Li:

I also recall you being a model, as you know, it was it a calendar,

Natasha Nurse:

I'm sorry, I was with a brand that they did lingerie. And so they did a campaign where they essentially had all different women of different body types. So I was the, you know, one of the plus size models in the calendar, but they had straight size women, they had older women, which I love and brands do that because it's really again, speaking to the idea that beauty isn't doesn't come in one size Ray, and that we can all be beautiful at any size in any age, especially our society is so focused on age. Listen, you are beautiful at 555 105 doesn't matter. And and so it was a fun campaign. It was it was definitely nerve wracking, right, because as a bigger body person, it sometimes can feel challenging to put on lingerie, and feel comfortable in front of other people. But I love the experience because again, human beings only grow when we're uncomfortable, right? We don't grow when we're comfortable. So by doing that, it's like, oh, gosh, you're gonna be in laundry. Yes, I'm gonna be in laundry, and I'm gonna rock it. I'm gonna look damn good. And you're gonna want every minute of it. And that's how we're gonna roll with that one. Okay, good.

Christine Li:

So you would tell our listeners who might be feeling apprehensive about something, to just tell themselves? I'm going to rock it. Is that is that your key?

Natasha Nurse:

I yeah. So I would say if you're ever feeling unsure about it, right? Or about a life decision? Or about, you know, can I really do something? Well, you're never really going to know until you do it. You're never going to know what that feels like. You can pontificate as much as you like. But if there's something you really want to do in this world, the only person stopping you is you. So why not try and do it? Right? Why not do it and see what happens? Maybe you hate it. I can't say everything that I've gone for I really love, right. But at least what I do love is that I went for it, you can at least always have that win that like, you know what, I didn't know how this was gonna turn out. But I did it. I love that I did that about it, whether it lands or whether the outcome is exactly what you want from it, you're gonna get a lesson from it. And that lesson is something that you can apply in your life, and you can move forward with how unfortunate would it be to not do it and never know what that other side of fear looks like? Right? Like, don't do that to yourself. Don't be the injustice yourself. Do it. Just do it. Nike said it just do it. See how it goes? And I think most people would be surprised that a they could do it and be how amazing and awesome of an experience it was.

Christine Li:

Yes, I know, this is a point where we absolutely agree. And sometimes I find it's the most simple concept, but also the most difficult concept to teach people that they are actually the biggest blocker to forward movement. Yes. And so I'm so happy to hear you say the exact same words and that, you know, whatever you can envision you could put forward, you could make a new space for it. It doesn't have to have already

Natasha Nurse:

existed before.

Christine Li:

Yeah. Okay. So can you tell us about working in diversity and inclusion, and what you've learned from that field? And how you have positioned yourself in that field?

Natasha Nurse:

Yeah, so my career, you know, being able to work with a company where I can, you know, create programs and work on fostering safe spaces in a workplace is the embodiment of who I am, right. So like, again, as a New York license attorney, I became an attorney because I wanted to always be in a position to be able to help people. So thus, Attorney coach, right, content creator of creating spaces for people is something that I love. And so what I love about that work is that it's the future, right? corporate America is only going to get more and more diverse because America is going to continue to get more and more diverse. So I just would encourage people, whatever companies they're building are working To think about ways that people can feel more included, and that if you don't feel included that you can do something about it, right, whether it's in corporate America or in your own business, that diversity inclusion is something that applies to every business because of the people that work in the business, right? A business is an organization, but it is only an existence because there's someone to work that business. So we have to make sure that people's voices feel heard that people feel good about the work that they're doing that they feel like when they show up that they're being celebrated. And if they're not, they too can do something about it. And there's many, many different avenues about a different companies, you know, approach DNI efforts and initiatives differently, but I would say I've enjoyed the work that I've done so far. And, you know, again, I just think that that is just another avenue of me being able to be a positive, influential person in this world and in the spaces that I operate within.

Christine Li:

Okay, how do you in those corporate environments, deal with resistance from people not wanting to change or not wanting to see that there's a pretty major issue or that people are very unhappy and are afraid of speaking out or, or being stronger? a presence in the group? Can you talk about that?

Natasha Nurse:

Absolutely. So yeah, you're always gonna have naysayers, you're always gonna have people who are going to challenge the forefront of campaigns and initiatives. And so what's interesting about people is that there's always an opportunity to try to meet them where they are, I think that whenever you try to just imbue your ideology onto someone else, and not understand who your audience is, you're never going to make that impact that you want, because you're not meeting them where they are. So you have to understand if someone is against a push to have more women in the workplace or push to have more diverse people. Why what exactly are they concerned about? Are they concerned about the culture change? Are they concerned that this is financially going to impact the business? Like what are the concerns the risks, and then you have to be able to present how those risks aren't really risk at all. Because if they if people understood that diversity usually is a positive thing for businesses, because a you get innovative ideas, you get people who are going to come from different perspectives, who can create campaigns or initiatives that other people wouldn't have ever thought of, because they didn't come from that walk of life. from a financial perspective, having more diverse people in your company, allows you to also be able to present that to your audience. And maybe you can grow the amount of people that support your business. Because again, when I see a business that is had not just talking about supporting black businesses, or black people, but actually has black people in the leadership has black people in the workings of the business, I'm more invested in wanting to help that business. Because it's not just words, right? But it's actual action here. And so then that means to me, Hey, you actually really do care about my community. So of course, I'm gonna care about what you're giving to my community. Right? So it's about understanding, when people are challenging, why are they challenging it? Is it just fear? Is it just ignorance? Or is there a substantial reason against it? And then if you are taking on the forefront of saying, No, we have to do XYZ, you have to come to the table prepared. You can't just be like, this is wrong. But like, no, have you seen, these are tenant companies, examples of what diversity inclusion meant to them, or what this change meant to them, and showing people because, you know, money is money. And at the end of the day, businesses just want to understand that the decisions that are being made, how they're going to make more profit. So as long as you can tie it in to that end goal, you'll be able to win over the naysayers.

Christine Li:

I love it. I think you're brilliant. And I think what as I'm, as I'm hearing you talk about that process, it feels like a parallel to your ideas about how an individual can expand and grow and be stronger as a group and organization can as well that we have to keep our bigger vision at the forefront and we have to keep it real and realize that it's possible and then the energy and the right moves will follow.

Natasha Nurse:

Absolutely. Yep, absolutely.

Christine Li:

Okay. So where are you headed next? professionally, we know the baby's coming. We

Unknown:

know

Christine Li:

you had mentioned to me earlier that you have an even bigger dream for your career.

Natasha Nurse:

I'll absolutely so yeah, so for us, you know, the baby our baby's due in June. So we're really excited. I mean, June in in Arizona is gonna be really, really hot. He's definitely gonna be welcomed with a lot of sunlight, and a lot of positivity there. But outside of that, I think via my husband for welcome for your podcast. We're looking to just expand the platform. Again, the platform is designed to help people understand that you can have educational entertaining conversations, but we want to do more than that. We definitely want to get into film we want to, you know, get into doing coursework as well and helping people work. On their goals, because you know me and Chloe, we've been very lucky in our careers to be able to do many different things. So we're, we're able to, you know, go back and teach people, hey, this is how you can approach being radically self aware, this is how you can approach career decisions, things like that because of things that we've learned. And then also outside of that, I mean, from a code like for dresser made and stuff like that just continuing to work with people and businesses who need my help and services and any way that I can scale certain things that I do, I think that would be ideal, but just looking to continue to grow our platform continue to help people globally as much as possible. And then also understanding some ways that we can give back because not everything always has to be about business, right? Like I think, for me, as I get older, I'd like to find ways that I can partner with nonprofit organizations. And also, how can I get more and more in touch with like, the roots of Natasha, right? So like, yes, my family's from Jamaica, but like, ultimately, I have African ancestors, I'd like to understand a little bit more culturally about where I come from. And then are there things that we can do that can bridge the gap between the African American and the African narrative, because, for me growing up here, it's always been really sad, to me the divide between African American Caribbean and African, right, and it's like, we're black people. Like, we need to have a community and that community, we just happen to live in different places. But we need to be able to have a lifeline to, you know, create a tree and have a branch go all different ways. And have it just be continuous love, and support and understanding. Because again, the more you understand where you came from, the more that you have context for where you're going. And I think that that that's been a struggle for people who've grown up in, in America as African Americans that it's really hard, it's really hard to understand who you are in totality comparatively to other people who can look back and be like, Oh, yes, my family's from Scotland, my family's from this, you know, it's like, people, we don't have that. Like, I'm grateful to be Caribbean. But you know, like, you know, not everyone has that. So, you know, that to me, I think, you know, finding ways to help empower our community more and understand the beauty and the power of diversity, and what you can do with that in your career in your personal life, things like that.

Christine Li:

Yes. And I think you really do your mission. I see you as someone who treasures your time on this planet and your time in general. And I want to share with our listeners who may not be following you on Instagram, how much of a like a life force you are on Instagram that every every day, I look forward to Natasha's posts, and some of them are just plain bonkers. But there's so much fun. It's just not what Natasha wants to tell us that next day. It's a one day it's about exercise. And one day, it's about the joy of it. And the next day, it's about the pain of it. But I always feel like I'm learning a piece of your life and I'm sharing in your life. So thank you for being that person on Instagram because I know I for one I try I do my best to describe myself as well. But I certainly don't go and describe how I'm exercising because it just it doesn't feel right quite yet. yet. I appreciate your openness on the platform that is really all about beauty and life and positive energy. So I think you're a shining example for people so could you tell us how people can work with you where to find you? How to follow you and how to support your work to

Natasha Nurse:

absolutely yeah, so definitely for the podcast, go to wilken free.com that's w o KENFRE calm and then on social So Facebook Instagram Twitter tik tok YouTube woken free that's the handle right like we'll be able to find us there and then on dresser roommate go to dress your mate calm and then you'll find all the socials there and you know the best place I would say you know if you're looking for podcasts or audio content that is going to move you and make you think and also make you laugh definitely welcome freeze where you're at. And then for folks looking for coaching and lifestyle help dresser mates were where you guys will find that and and I was just encouraged with social media what I found again I when starting this journey, it's a journey right so like if you Even if you say you're not comfortable right now like that's okay because some of the stuff I see you do like you feel very comfortable doing XYZ right? So like you have to find your space and you have to just live in that space and and do you because we were all made different and we all do things differently. But I think the best part about social media is just like figuring out who you want to be in that space and just sharing it and living in it and not being afraid to sometimes push the boundaries because you just you know it helps you grow and evolve and and have fun. You know, just have fun.

Christine Li:

I am so glad you said push the boundaries because as you were talking I was saying you got to be on There, and then you have to push. You do have to go a little bit further. Yeah, then you might think you're comfortable with. And that may be just the theme of our whole conversation today that it may feel like you're breaking some rule or breaking some comfort barrier, but it's still going to be good. It's still going to work. We just have to get away from the naysayer part of ourselves and the part that is really stuck in fear. Because that, is that not fun.

Natasha Nurse:

Absolutely.

Christine Li:

That's the part that keeps us stuck.

Natasha Nurse:

Yeah. And it's so easy to say, oh, like, I don't have time to do this? Or will people like this? And it's just like, what do you want to do? Me, My husband mankelow talk about this all the time, like, I push him and he says this all the time, like, he wouldn't have done half the things he's done. If it wasn't for me, because I really am the person who's like, because I've seen on happiness, I've seen what regret looks like. And I always know I didn't want that for myself. And I definitely didn't want that with any of my loved ones. So I tried to say, hey, what would make you happy? Go ahead and do it. Let me help you find a way to do it. But you have to do what's going to make you happy. And even if you don't know if it's gonna make you happy, do it. Try it. Just try. You know, that's what I love about children. Children are so fearless, right? They want to jump off anything and run into anything. It's so interesting how we as we get older, we just crawl inwards as opposed to being free birth, like we were when we were five, because when you were five, I bet people wouldn't try to hold you back from doing things. And then you know, you get older and then it's like, oh, no, I can't do that. Who says you can't do that? Why can't you do that? Go ahead and do it. Right and and have at it and, and enjoy it now for others. But for yourself, you have to feel good about it. And you have to also be okay with not always feeling good about it. But you know, you wanted to do it. So you're honoring that wish, and you're gonna see what that experience leads you to?

Christine Li:

Well, thank you, Natasha, I cannot think of a better way to wrap up our conversation, then by helping our listeners honor what they wish to do. So thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing your joy, and your energy and your positivity with us today.

Natasha Nurse:

Thank you, I appreciate it. It's an honor to be here. It's always an honor to be asked to interview and to share my story and my thoughts. And just last words of wisdom is just, you know, life is short, and you're magnificent, and you are perfectly made how you are. So just do it. Just go out and live your dreams. And when you accomplish those dreams, dream bigger, and make those come true. And never stop and never let anyone tell you you can't be who you want to be in this world because you have the power to be anyone you want to be.

Christine Li:

And so there we have it. You have love from me and Natasha, so forth and prosper my friends. And I will see you next week. Thanks so much, Natasha. Thank you for listening to this episode of The make time for success podcast. If you enjoyed what you've heard, you can subscribe to make sure you get notified of upcoming episodes. You can also visit our website make time for success podcast.com for past episodes, show notes and all the resources we mentioned on the show. Feel free to connect with me over on Instagram too. You can find me there under the name procrastination coach. Send me a DM and let me know what your thoughts are about the episodes you've been listening to. And let me know any topics that you might like me to talk about on the show. I'd love to hear all about how you're making time for success. Talk to you soon.

Natasha Nurse

Co-Founder of Dressing Room 8 and Lifestyle Guru

WokeNFree is a podcast that refuses to leave anything off the table. Kahlil & Natasha Nurse talk about relationships, education, religion, politics, music, history, fashion, diversity in the media, entertainment, empowerment matters, life hacks, technology, cultural disparities in the world, and everything in between. Join the WokeNFree movement at WokeNFree.com.