The Secret Habit That Rewires Your Brain for Success and Confidence

Dr. Christine Li [00:00:00]:
Welcome back to the Make Time for Success podcast. This is episode number 233. I am really excited to share this episode with you because I am revealing the productivity secret that I have been using lately, and it really works. It really helps to boost your mood, to get things done more quickly, and to remind yourself that you're not so bad after all. So if you're interested in removing the hustle from your everyday, tune in, keep listening, and enjoy this episode with me now. Hi. I'm Dr. Christine Li, and I'm a psychologist and a procrastination coach. I've helped thousands of people move past procrastination and overwhelm so they could begin working to their potential.

Dr. Christine Li [00:00:54]:
In this podcast, you're going to learn powerful strategies for getting your mind, body, and energy to work together so that you can focus on what's really important and accomplish the goals you want to achieve. When you start living within your full power, you're going to see how being productive can be easy and how you can create success on demand. Welcome to the make Time for Success podcast. If you're currently feeling stuck, a bit negative, maybe like you are behind or you're underperforming, performing, I just wanna give you a hug, a virtual hug, and also let you know that this episode will help you out. I have been using this one habit in recent months, one that I picked up from my coaches that I would like to share with you because I think it's really essential for consistency, for momentum, for enjoying the process of going through the day. It is just the secret sauce. And I just wanted to explain what that habit is. First, I wanna describe these coaching calls that I'm in with my coaches.

Dr. Christine Li [00:02:08]:
There has been a habit lately of people starting the coaching calls, these are group coaching calls, with a call to list your wins. And that can mean anything, personal, professional, something that you're feeling good about. There's no limit to what you could call a win. It's up to you. And I have to say that that way of starting any meeting has become a favorite way of starting meetings because it makes you reflect what has gone well, what have I participated in that has been a success. It makes you turn inward, and it also makes you calm down. Because so often, we're just so wrapped up in what hasn't been done and what has to be done and all the deadlines and all the stress and the pressure. And sometimes it's just good to say, you know what? What has been a win for me lately? So I have decided to look forward to all of these meetings and to just give words and give recognition to the wins that I have had myself.

Dr. Christine Li [00:03:16]:
Then I've turned around and used that same technique with my own coaching clients in the groups that I've run. I also start each session calling for whatever wins people have. And you know what? Sometimes these discussions are enough for a single session that we get into conversations about what is working about our productivity style. What have we made progress on? And then everybody gets to celebrate together and have more ideas about what to get done next or how to approach the next challenge. So I suggest that you take this piece of advice to input the celebration of wins into your productivity schema and take a look at what begins to happen. Again, I think we oftentimes make the mistake of just overemphasizing getting things done and forgetting that the whole purpose of getting things done is to feel happier, is to feel like we're winning, is to feel like life isn't so bad after all. And I just wanted you to remember that in the midst of your podcast listening day. If you spend the day obsessing over what went wrong, what didn't get done, or how you should be doing more, chances are not only are you missing the point of being joyful, of having a good mood and enjoying the journey, you may also be making it harder for yourself to move forward.

Dr. Christine Li [00:04:55]:
I have found when working with my clients that when people are looking at the lack, when they're looking at what hasn't gotten done yet, their mood starts to decline. They start to have a suppression of their energy. They start to progress more slowly, and that's where the coaching comes in because sometimes we need other people observing how we are operating to just wake up a bit, to say, oh, you know what? I'm already midway in this journey. I don't have to suffer through this. I could just see the end goal, start imagining myself winning already, and then continue from there with that positive energy. I need to put in the celebration of the wins that I've already had so that I can stay the course, so that I can remind myself of how powerful I am, and so that I can actually reach that precious goal. And in fact, research agrees with this kind of thinking. Research by Harvard Business School found that the single most powerful driver of motivation, engagement, and creativity is making progress in meaningful work.

Dr. Christine Li [00:06:12]:
Even small wins count, and I really wanna emphasize that point. You don't have to write a dissertation or find the cure for some massive disease to have motivation and commitments and progress. We need to just celebrate and recognize the meaningful progress in the meaningful work. When you celebrate your wins, you send a signal to your brain and your body that says, this is working. I like this. We're on the right track. I want more of this. And that leads to building real, positive, lasting momentum, and that's what we're all craving.

Dr. Christine Li [00:06:54]:
I hear that a lot. A lot of my clients come to me saying, I just don't know how to be consistent. I don't know how to maintain the momentum. I don't even want to start anymore. And this small step habit and this celebration of the small steps habit is really the path forward. Now I wanna share with you how you can build these habits into your own life. I have four tips and four ways for you to begin. The first tip is I want you to start writing things down.

Dr. Christine Li [00:07:30]:
I'm a big pen and paper person. If you know me, there are notebooks and pens scattered all about. I love the feeling of just charting things, noting things, and scribbling. I love that handwriting activity. But the reason why I want you to start writing things down is because I want you to start tracking what is happening. You're probably in the habit of noting what your to do list is, marking down the things that you need to get done over the course of the day or the week. But you might not be writing down another list, which is the list of things that I've already done, the list that is completed. And when you have your done list, it is a tracking of what you can celebrate.

Dr. Christine Li [00:08:18]:
It's the tracking of how successful you were at what you decided you were going to do. It's basically brain work. It's confirming that you are a successful person. And sometimes we make the mistake that, oh, why would I write that down? It's already done. We need to move on. But I don't want you to think of making that done list as busy work because, again, it's confirming your wins. It's saying to your brain, there is reason now to celebrate, and we are celebrating. And it's something that you could use at the end of the day to really go to bed feeling celebratory, feeling accomplished, feeling calm instead of just going over that to do list again and worrying and criticizing yourself for how much has yet to be done.

Dr. Christine Li [00:09:09]:
We're all gonna have stuff that needs to move to tomorrow, but we can always end the night thinking, oh, I did such a good job with today. So remember, step one, write things down, not only the before but also the afters. Alright. Step number two, I'm gonna advise you to infuse a lot of fun into your working habits, your productivity process, whatever you wanna call that. The universe runs on two principles, expansion and fun. The universe is growing. The universe is expanding. The universe is built on creativity and love and abundance.

Dr. Christine Li [00:09:53]:
And we wanna model our behavior after how the universe is running, after expansion and fun and joy. Notice I didn't mention the word perfection because some parts of the universe, of course, are perfect, but so much of the universe is not. But, thankfully, it's not reliant on perfection to grow and exist and change and evolve. So the same goes for us. If you can make your work, your chores, or your daily routines to include a little more fun, I think you're gonna stop seeing them as burdens. You're gonna start wanting to get more done. You're going to start celebrating those small wins, and then you're going to basically set up a guard against those lower moments where you feel like giving up. Remember, you never have to give up because you could always see another pathway towards expansion.

Dr. Christine Li [00:10:56]:
Maybe it's rest. Maybe it's popping another podcast episode into your ears. Whatever you wanna choose is fine. The point is that we don't wanna stop and feel stuck because stuck is not the point. Stuck is not how the universe goes. The universe is always in flow. The universe is always in action. So we want to decide, let's use those principles that are universal for our own growth as well.

Dr. Christine Li [00:11:25]:
So step two, remember to infuse fun and lightness into your workday. Number three, I would love for you to work from the mindset of certainty. So often, my clinical patients come to me with fears of what has not happened yet. And, basically, that is the fear of uncertainty. What if I can't do this? What if that person says this about me? What if I'm not able to finish my journaling assignment on time? What if I break down before I get on stage? All of these fears that we can generate, they're all fears around the idea that things are uncertain, that and we don't really know how the future is going to be until we get there. So the way around that is to start assuming that your success is going to happen. So that's developing the strategy within yourself. Your soul, your heart, your mind, your thoughts, your actions are all now going to center around the concept that you will succeed.

Dr. Christine Li [00:12:35]:
Okay? So it is a mind trick, and it might be a mind shift for many of you. But instead of thinking you're all about the doubt, you're all about the mistakes, you're all about the negative predictions, you're gonna become someone who's super positive, super sure of themselves, and super certain that you're going to reach that finish line, that you're going to be accomplished, that that clutter is gonna be cleared. You're gonna run that race. You're gonna finish that book. You're gonna meet that deadline. Alright? And chances are you're gonna really do that. It's really not such a wild imagination exercise. It's really just saying, I'm gonna leap ahead in my timeline and envision myself already having finished the project.

Dr. Christine Li [00:13:21]:
I'm gonna use that energy of success, that future completion, that certainty that I'm gonna cross the finish line and borrow that and bring it to the present moment and start gliding and flowing and easily doing the small steps that are needed and necessary to get to that certain success. This is a strength strategy. It's a success strategy to use your future self, that future successful self energy in the present moment. It will prevent you from getting stuck. It will prevent you from procrastinating. It will prevent you from yelling at yourself for that thousandth time. And instead, it will help you clear the runway to get what you need to done. It will help you stay clear in your mind.

Dr. Christine Li [00:14:14]:
It will help you to be calm as you do your work. It will help you conserve your energy and your time. And these are really big productivity tools and secrets. They're really secret, but they're all yours now to use. Alright. Tip number four, do not box yourself in, ever. Whether it's relationships, communication, searching for jobs, building a home, whatever you're doing, do not box yourself in. But when it comes to productivity and what I'm talking about in today's episode, always remembering that you're winning, you don't wanna think that you're stuck on just this task.

Dr. Christine Li [00:14:57]:
You wanna be able to use your trillion dollar mind and the machine of your body to decide I'm capable of encompassing and absorbing and considering all that's on the table for me to get to my success goal. It's not just a or b. Now we're gonna turn you into a machine that considers both a and b. This means, oh, I can cook dinner while I'm also thinking about the next paragraph of my book. Oh, I can run the race and work on my breathing while I'm trying to break my race record time or my fastest record. My personal record is what they call it, I think. My past personal record. I'm trying to break my record or set a new record for myself.

Dr. Christine Li [00:15:52]:
You know what I mean? So instead of limiting yourself to your past performance, I want you to start thinking, who could I turn into? Wow. I could just become the person who does this in half the time. I'm the person who could create a brand new recipe for how this can be done. I'm the person who can lead the pack now because I have such confidence and belief in myself that everything is just gonna go the way it's supposed to, and I'm going to sail towards my success. Remember, you can be tired and creative. You can be behind and making progress at the same time. It's when we get stuck thinking, oh, I'm behind, and then we pile the crap thoughts on ourselves. That's when we really just kill the productivity.

Dr. Christine Li [00:16:42]:
We kill the process, and we kill our mood too. So don't be killing things. We're about generating life. We're about abiding by universal principles. We're about heading towards certain success by using these four strategies for celebrating yourself and your wins. So to recap, one, you're gonna start writing things down just because you can and just because you're gonna start writing down those wins that you can celebrate at the end of the day. Two, you're going to infuse a lot of fun into your day because productivity is not just about hard things and hard work and concentration and focus. It's also about energy and energy use and energy success.

Dr. Christine Li [00:17:27]:
So let's have a lot more fun doing our work. Three, we're going to work from a standpoint and a mindset of certainty where you are always the winner. You're winning at the beginning, you're winning in the middle, and you're winning at the finish line. Very powerfully celebrating at that finish line. And the last tip is that you don't want to box yourself in. Don't think of yourself as a limited actor. Think of yourself as the most powerful person doing this task in this moment in the world. It's perfectly fine for you to think of yourself in this way.

Dr. Christine Li [00:18:06]:
Your creativity and your imagination are also limitless, by the way. So imagine yourself as, like, Wolverine. Right? You're you're gonna come back from every ailment and every injury, and you're going to, you know, save the world. I've never even watched Wolverine, but I've heard that that's what Wolverine does. Okay? So use these tips for a wonderful day. Celebrate those wins. Don't feel embarrassed to list those wins. Don't feel embarrassed to share and state those wins because other people will feel inspired when they see you doing well, when they see you feeling good, when they see you reaching your goals time and time again.

Dr. Christine Li [00:18:51]:
The truth is we are all doing better than we likely are thinking. And when we stop to notice what is going good, we won't be missing the evidence that things really are growing and that we really are good. So don't hustle anymore. Just notice your wins a bit more. And when you do, that's when your real magic starts to come out and starts to take effect in the world. And thank you so much for listening to another episode of the Make Time for Success podcast. I have so much fun doing this podcast, cocreating these episodes with some of my clients, many of my clients. And, of course, I do this for you and your thriving, positive, productive, winning self.

Dr. Christine Li [00:19:40]:
If you would like a free download and worksheet that accompanies this episode, I would love for you to go to maketimeforsuccesspodcast.com/winninglist. Again, it's maketimeforsuccesspodcast.com/winninglist. Alright? And grab that free download. Stay connected with this podcast, and I'll see you next week when the next episode comes your way. Bye. Thank you for listening to this episode of the Make Time for Success podcast. If you enjoyed what you've heard, you can subscribe to make sure you get notified of upcoming episodes. You can also visit our website, maketimeforsuccesspodcast.com for past episodes, show notes, and all the resources we mentioned on the show.

Dr. Christine Li [00:20:34]:
Feel free to connect with me over on Instagram too. You can find me there under the name procrastination coach. Send me a DM and let me know what your thoughts are about the episodes you've been listening to, and let me know any topics that you might like me to talk about on the show. I'd love to hear all about how you're making time for success. Talk to you soon.