March 18, 2021

How to Beat the Fear of Going for What You Want with Shelby Stanger

How to Beat the Fear of Going for What You Want with Shelby Stanger

Imagine what your life would be like if you only greenlit your ideas. No red lights, no one telling you what you “should” do. What do you think would happen?

Shelby Stanger is no stranger to fueling her wildest ideas. A seasoned journalist and top-ranked podcaster, Shelby Stanger’s work and podcasts have been featured everywhere from The New York Times and The San Diego Union Tribune to Outside Magazine, ESPN and the cover of Apple Podcasts. Curious about her subjects and willing to go to great lengths in her research, Shelby has surfed from New Jersey to New Zealand, studied with a breath guru, fasted for six days on only water, paddled down a portion of the Amazon River, and interviewed countless CEOs, athletes, and wellness experts on assignment for major publications. With a knack for audio stories, Shelby created and sold her first podcast about adventure called Wild Ideas Worth Living to REI Co-Op in 2020 (she remains the host) and recently hosted an award-winning travel show for Lufthansa called Life Changing Places. Her latest project, Vitamin Joy, has a standout crew of guests, offering prescriptions for having more health, humor and fun in everyday lives.

In this episode, you’ll learn how Shelby was able to take her wild ideas and turn them into a catalyst to fuel her life with so many rich experiences. 

Timestamps: 

[2:42] How Shelby found her spark and wild ideas

[8:00] Having a rich life doesn’t always mean you have to have full bank accounts 

[10:12] Finding and understanding your why gives you the strength to do what you want to do

[15:30] How to look for adventure in your everyday life

[21:30] The power of how laughter can directly affect our mood

[26:21] Greenlighting your wild ideas 

 

For more information on the Make Time for Success podcast, visit:

https://www.maketimeforsuccesspodcast.com


Connect with Us!

Dr. Christine Li [host] -

Website: https://www.procrastinationcoach.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/procrastinationcoach

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/procrastinationcoach/


Shelby Stanger [guest] -

Website: www.shelbystanger.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ShelbyStangerProductions

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shelbystanger/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/shelby-stanger/ 

Podcast Class: https://www.shelbystanger.com/courses Use code: FriendofShelby to receive 50% off.

Transcript

Christine Li:

Welcome back to the show. This is Episode 14. Have you ever wondered what you would do if you went after whatever you wanted to do? Well, today's guest Shelby Stanger will be someone you'll want to listen to them as she has made it her mission, to live her life with intention, and to go for those wild ideas she has. Shelby is a seasoned journalist and a top ranked podcaster, whose work has been featured in The New York Times, outside magazine, and ESPN. She has served from New Jersey to New Zealand, she studied with a breath guru. She has fasted for six days on only water, and she has paddled down a portion of the Amazon River. She has also interviewed countless CEOs, athletes and wellness experts while on assignment for major publications. She has been so much fun to get to know and to interview. And she's also been such a kind help for this newbie podcaster as well. Let's go listen to Shelby stories and learn from her spirit and love for life now.

Unknown:

Hi,

Christine Li:

I'm Dr. Christine Li and I'm a psychologist and a procrastination coach. I've helped 1000s of people move past procrastination and overwhelm so they can begin working to their potential. In this podcast, you're going to learn powerful strategies for getting your mind, body and energy to work together so that you can focus on what's really important and accomplish the goals you want to achieve. When you start living within your full power, you're going to see how being productive can be easy, and how you can create success on demand. Welcome to the make time for success podcast. Hi, everyone. Today, I'm doing a new kind of interview because my special guest, Shelby Stanger and I are new friends with these other we've known each other for a total of two days. And so I'm going to have the pleasure of getting to know Shelby, with you. As we go through this recording. Shelby, welcome to the show.

Shelby Stanger:

I am excited to have you on and I feel like an old friend because I just did a podcast with Christine on my podcast, vitamin joy, and she was so awesome. And I felt like I've known her now.

Christine Li:

Thank you. We've had a good two days together. So thank you for coming on to this show. Could you please introduce yourself to our listeners and give a sense of what lights you

Shelby Stanger:

up? Okay, I'm a journalist and marketer, and I've been a journalist since of 16 years old. It's kind of a long story. But I've mostly worked in action and outdoor sports. So sports like surfing skateboarding companies like vans, Body Glove, and I've written for business publications, everything from outside to ESPN. And I've also reported on the business of action and outdoor sports. I've lived in Costa Rica and taught surfing lived in New Zealand. And really in 2016 Well, let me start back. I'm really interested in people who've taken the path less traveled. And I've always been interested in outliers, and people who have taken a wild idea and made it happen. I'm also really been interested in health and wellness, and laughter and humor. So I've taken all of that. And in 2016, I took my first idea that desire to chase people who had a wild idea and make it a reality. And I made a podcast called wild ideas worth living. And it was a wild idea. So I had all this journalism experience. All this marketing experience, zero business or podcast experience, and they started this podcast is done well and I recently sold it to Rei Co Op, the adventure outfitter, and they own the show. I'm the host. And last year in the middle of our quarantine, I started a new show called vitamin joy because I've done every hack known to man, and health and wellness, I've done fasting, I've done vegan, I've gone raw. And really what I've found is that laughter and adventure are kind of the antidotes to my human experience in my joy, and so on vitamin joy, I'm exploring health and wellness, with humor, and how we can have more joy in our life, not just through doing these crazy diets. But really just adding laughter like I'm interested in simple things or like not procrastinating, maybe kindness. And so that's kind of what I do not I also consult with other people on podcasting and living their wild idea and I do all sorts of other stuff. But really right now I'm interested in these two things, chasing wild ideas, and having more vitamin joy in my life.

Christine Li:

Wonderful. That sounds really great. Really fun. Shelby is really great and really fun. And of course, because I'm a psychologist, I have to say First question that comes to mind when I'm interviewing you today is, Have you always been someone with wild ideas?

Shelby Stanger:

Yeah. And you know, if you want to get into the psychology of it, you know, when I was 11, my dad died of a sudden heart attack. My sisters and I have two older sisters, we all took different lessons from my dad die one took the need to be financially responsible, went to Stanford, pretty tight Bay, like owns a giant company crushes it. I took the need that like you're here, one day, you're gone the next, you might die any day. So you got to live life to the fullest. And you're not guaranteed tomorrow. And I think for so many years, I've just chased I've always I was an adventurous kid beforehand. I'm the youngest child. So there was more room for me to be a little bit more adventurous. But really, yeah, I've always been interested. And there's been a lot of times in my life where I felt stuck in the only way I've been able to unstuck myself in those times, have been one listening to other stories of other people going after a wild idea and doing crazy things. And I did that mostly by being a freelance journalist and interviewing these cool adventures, and I wanted to be like them. And I really do believe that old Jim Rohn, saying, you know, you're the sum of the five people you spend the most time with you not all these people are my friends. But in interviewing them, they kind of like became my friends. And also, being outside in nature helped me answer a lot of questions that I could never answer on land. So like, when it came to my dad's death, as a little girl, at 12 years old, I found surfing and you know, surfing was hard, but it was in nature had to be quiet, it was pretty add. But you know, you have to be quiet, you have to be patient, you're completely out of control in the water, the ocean is you know, the master. And you've learned all these lessons that you just can't learn on a pen and paper, a pro con list or maybe even in therapy in some ways. So I found nature really impactful. For me, obviously, I think everybody should go to therapy too. But big fan, and my mom is a therapist, you know, she's a addiction specialist. And one other thing is I have a mom who raised us, my sisters and I to kind of go after whatever it is we wanted to do. And we're all three completely different. But they're all pretty successful. And my mom is very resilient. You know, she lost a husband, young. She came from a family with a lot of alcoholism. And you know, she's been through a lot. So she taught us to be resilient. And that's sort of where the wild ideas come from, as well. Because part of being wild or living wildly, which is really just living a life with intention involves being resilient.

Christine Li:

Yes. And it sounds like you've been testing yourself throughout the years. And with all these different projects and interviews that you've done and things you've launched, you've been testing the limits of your resilience to kind of how far can I take this to explore yourself? Is that putting it correctly?

Shelby Stanger:

Uh, yeah. I mean, maybe my bank accounts, not the fullest, you know, in terms of money. But I feel like I've had a really rich life. I've been able to surround myself with really wonderful people kind of do what I want to do. You know, not always I've had jobs where I've been in an office, and I've also gone on crazy adventures. Like I paddle down the Amazon River as part of the first crew that ever stand up paddle this like remote portion. And, you know, my photographer was chased away by a Caiman, which is just a mini crocodile, which, you know, even if it's Mini, I still don't want to encounter a crocodile. So I've been really lucky and, and you know, doing the adventure that kind of scares you always gives you courage in real life to do things that scare you, whether it's going after a relationship that is scary, or taking a job that scary, or maybe quitting your job, which is scary. Whenever I've done something physical outside in nature, that was scary. I was always able to do something scary in my own life, or maybe it was like getting help for depression. Like, that's scary, too. So I've had all these different experiences that the wild has helped me with.

Christine Li:

Yes, I was just catching up on some of your episodes. And you had interviewed someone who walked across the country. I did a double tape because I was like, Did she really say that and that you've connected yourself with people with this life spark? And could you say something about that the people who recognize their life spark and want to activate it want to not lose it want to maximize it? Is there something about their identity, their mindset, their life that you've noticed?

Shelby Stanger:

Well, I'm actually trying to figure out why people do this now. And you know, that particular guy is Mike Posner, who's a famous musician, but I also interviewed this runner who ran across America a couple years before Mike walked across America. And the runner did it. They both did it supported, but one it was a famous musician, the other one Like an accountant, from like a no name town. And I think people just if they have enough passion, they'll do it. But there's a couple of ingredients that people have to have to make their wild idea and make it a reality. And first is you just have to have a y that's really strong. The reason why you need to have a Why is you're going to have not only haters who are going to doubt you and tell you, you're crazy, because whatever you're going to do is going to scare them and hit a nerve, because maybe they want to do it or they're jealous. Or maybe they're scared because they're your mom. They don't want you to get hurt. But you have to have a why that's strong enough to kind of shush the naysayers, but not just the ones outside, but the ones in your own head. And I think that's really important. And it's kind of has to do with procrastination, if you have a strong enough why to do something, like I know when I like a guy, I will do a lot. I'm not single anymore. But when I was single, I would get up at five in the morning and surf a wave that I had no business surfing, because I liked this guy, and I really wanted to make out with him. So my why was I want to make out with this dude. So I'm gonna get up at five in the morning and surf with him at a break that scares the hell out of me. I don't want to see him naked or whatever it was that it was, you know, so if you have a strong enough why you'll do anything. And that's kind of what it is. They have a strong enough Why? And they're able to like shush the naysayers. I think the other thing that's common is you have to start. And I've interviewed so many sailors and they always say at best, it's like eventually you have to untie the dock lines, and set sail like you can always improve your boat. You can always like fix and put another motor in another Yeah, you get it like, there's stuff that you can always do to be better. It's like starting a podcast like I mean, for me, the reason why I started a podcast is because I suffer from imposter syndrome and perfectionism. Like I'm sure every single person listening to your podcast suffers from and I was like, Well, if I do a podcast, and it's weekly, I have to get over perfectionism because it has to be out there every day and like, I like to have deadlines where there's kind of a consequence. So like, for me when I started my podcast, my first podcast while ideas worth living. I took an entrepreneur accelerator class through this UCSD this woman from UCSD taught it She's incredible. It's now called Stella labs. And it was a nurturing environment. But the last week of class, which was week 12, you had to present your product to a team of investors. My product was a podcast, which meant I needed three podcasts done ready to go in the can on iTunes, ready for people to listen to. That was motivation for me. So anybody's like wanting to do something big, put something consequential and they're like either, like if you want to go to the gym if you want to get in shape. I think it's really good to pay someone to help you. Because when you pay someone, you lose money if you don't show up to meet your personal trainer. I don't know about you, but I like spending in the background of my podcast studio of a million surfboards like I like spending money on surfboards. Some women like spending money on Christian Louboutin shoes. I like surfboards. They're the same amount of money as a pair of blue buttons. And that's how I want to spend my money. And I'd rather not lose money towards surfboards, and I will show up if I'm gonna lose money.

Christine Li:

And you're gonna ride the good waves when you invest in the nice surfboards. Yeah, exactly. For me, you know, I'm a newbie podcaster. And so just listening to our listeners can't see us but I'm just kind of giving high fives and so excited to listen to Shelby and it's fascinating to me how no matter who I'm interviewing, I learned so much and I learned their specific philosophy about overcoming doubt overcoming resistance, overcoming conflict, overcoming procrastination, and I'm just having so much fun listening to

Shelby Stanger:

you. Well, getting outside in nature is like a really good other thing is like if you're stuck, you know, I interviewed this woman Florence Williams and she wrote a book called The nature fix. And she proves it scientifically being outside in nature calms your stress hormones in allows you to make decisions better. So there was a time in 2009 where I had this dream job I was working for vans, it was like 29 years old, running international sales and marketing for like a giant territory of the world. Flying on private jets. It was the height of the recession, quitting made zero sense on paper. And ultimately, I had to make the decision by like, one getting depressed and then like realizing that wasn't healthy either. But also just I went surfing and like the answers started come to me in surfing. They did not come to me with a pro con list I wrote you know it didn't add up quitting my job made no sense on paper, but it did when I went outside. So if anybody stuck on something like taking a hike, all writers I know most writers I know will go on a walk outside in nature in the trees and then they're able to write whatever They need to write afterwards.

Christine Li:

Yes, now you're making me think of COVID. And how, in some ways for us to talk about myself that I have been much more inside indoors than I would otherwise be inclined to be. And if you could give suggestions for people to kind of get out of their desk chair, get out of their four walls and get outside, especially now.

Shelby Stanger:

Yeah, it's tough. Like, I get it. If you live in the city, especially like New York City, it's really challenging. So when COVID hit, I did venture I mean, I'd trip so like, you know, we all had great trips to do cool outdoor adventures, but I was gonna go to Colombia, Norway, and instead I just started working on breathwork, which you can do in your house at home. It's super challenging. I started playing with cold showers. You don't need to get invested in an ice bath. You can just take your shower cold and go into it. It's kind of an adventure because it's scary. breathwork I highly recommend there's so many types of breath work. I've interviewed the guy who wrote the book breath. The new science of a lost art James Nester several times. He's a great guy. That's a good book to start. There's this guy Wim Hof this, he's actually the reason why I started my podcast, I interviewed him. I didn't like how the article is edited. And I was like, screw this. I'm not gonna write for magazines anymore. But podcast, Scott was great. We should hear his whole interview. So there's so much you could do with breathwork. With meditation, I did a podcast on baking bread. You know, there's a whole adventure and baking bread, like, it's just a couple of ingredients that you combine and it makes this delicious thing that you can give to friends. I just did a podcast on birdwatching with this really cool girl who was part of the black burgers movement, Kareena Newsome. And I had no idea that watching out for birds and learning what types they are, could be so cool. And if there's a tree next to your house, even if you're in the middle of a city, there are birds. So there's birds everywhere. But if you can get outside hiking is not restricted right now. You can still hike in most areas and go on walks. And that's what I've been doing. I've been hiking around my neighborhood. I'm really lucky. I live on the beach. There was a time where we weren't allowed to surf in front of our house. But now we can. That's been great. So I guess find new ways to adventure. I mean, I even started playing tennis, which is not like sexy and adventurous or anything that you would find gear for an Rei. But hey, man, there's a tennis court. So yeah, I think there's a lot of ways I think the biggest thing is, is kindness, like you talk about it a lot, Christine. And this is a weird time. And I call it the great pole pass. So if you've gotten nothing done, but watched silly shows on Netflix, including Tiger King, and maybe great shows like The Queen's gambit, whatever it is, and you've read no books, whatever is a great American Hall Pass. This is a one time in our life, we're all suffering and like, some of us are thriving, but most people are not. And just lean into it. I've spent a lot of time with family, they've never spent this much time with my family in my life. And that has been a blessing. My sisters have kids and you know, there are in our bubble, there now labor, which is the scariest part of the pandemic right now. But somehow we've managed to see my nieces and nephews. And so you know, just be kind yourself, like, for the people who are writing books and starting podcasts great. And if you're not, it's okay. There's a lot that can be said for doing nothing and letting ideas just simmer and the backburner of your brain. Those will turn into something someday, you don't know it. And this time is really good. We don't know what it'll turn into.

Christine Li:

I love it. I love everything. Here's your sense of the idea of, of Thank you.

Unknown:

Thank you,

Christine Li:

the idea is simmering, that we're constantly receiving a flow of things that could be and you don't have to act on everything. And you certainly don't have to feel guilty in the process of going through those ideas and sitting on them or dreaming about them

Unknown:

first. I

Christine Li:

think that's actually an essential part of getting to that adventure, eventually when the time is right for you. So I'm going to back Shelby up and say, Be kind to yourself and allow yourself as much adventure as you can fit in. But also know that this is a time right now to be super kind with ourselves. Two days ago, you taught me a quick meditation that has stuck with me. Could you teach our listeners that meditation? Is it okay? So

Shelby Stanger:

it's something I developed from tick not Han, I went to his monastery years and years ago. And what I do is, is first you want to breathe five seconds in, five seconds out, but it doesn't really matter. And so what I say to myself is breathing in I calm my body. Alright, so breathing in, I call my body breathing out, I call my mind and you can do it either way breathing and I call my mind breathing out I call my body but I tend to breathing in, I call my body breathing out, I calm my mind. And I like to picture myself as a shaken up. techno Han says it's a great example, a shaking up snowglobe. Like all the little snow at the top is your thoughts. And if you just sit there, you slowly let the snowflakes melt down and just subside. And those are your thoughts and their thoughts will just chill the EFF out. And then what I do next is I send love to whatever it is I'm struggling with. If it's a person I don't like if it's a politician I don't like if it's a project I don't like I sit there and I send it love until I literally feel love for that thing or person. And sometimes it is really hard. But it tends to transform my energy. And that's all I focus on when I meditate. I don't do it all the time as much as I should. But this was helpful because you knew now I remember I need to go do that. I need to do that for my big writing project that I have, I need to send it love.

Christine Li:

Okay, I forgot the love part, the part with you know, you're clearing your mind and you're resting your body or both are in reverse. I just think the concepts are great. And that we need to know that we have access to helping ourselves in every breath. And every moment which we forget, we really do forget these things. So totally. Could you talk about the laughter piece? Because it's not something that I run across all the time. I laugh a lot, but I don't think I've read much or hurt has been in any conversations about it directly.

Shelby Stanger:

Yeah, you're I don't know the science behind laughter I just literally know. So I have an autoimmune condition like a lot of people and it's called vitiligo and it's so annoying because it only affects my face. What happens is patches of my skin. I'm tan, and they turn white. If I was even Tanner black, you'd see it more. I'm like brown. And so you can kind of tell sometimes it looks like I'm sunburned, or like I had someone asked me if I had a skin peel that went bad. And I laughed because I'm like the last person who would go get something like a skin peel. If you met me, I barely brush my hair, but laughter I so I've tried all these things for it. And really, when I watch comedy, and when I laugh, I just feel good. I noticed that like I can eat food that like doesn't bother me or me. Have you ever gone to a meal and you just laugh and you laugh and he laughed and he like could have eaten ice cream and like terrible food, but it digests and you just feel really good. So there's something there. So I tried to really not take myself so seriously, I definitely do sometimes because I'm a writer and a creative and of course I have an ego but laughter kills the ego. Ego doesn't really like laughter So I've just learned that laughter is also a game changer. So there's there's a couple things adventure, laughter, kindness, those are my my three real ingredients that I go to right now. So I know we're in a time where we're not supposed to make fun of a lot of things, and everybody's very sensitive. But I would say if you can find something to laugh, I don't care if it's offensive, like, use it. You know, be respectful, obviously to people and don't hurt anybody's feelings. But between your friends if you need to laugh, you should laugh. However you can. If you got to tell Wiener joke. And it's like cheap humor. Fine, I do it. I watch Sarah live when I need to laugh. And I use love Kate McKinnon. Like she's just so funny. And so that's kind of what I do when I need to laugh. But I can't find a scientific article that says if you laugh, blah, blah, blah, this happens. But there is something called laughter yoga that I tried years ago, you basically show up at a yoga class, and you start laughing. It's forced, but even if you force yourself to laugh, you start laughing hysterically. And it feels so good. I have a six pack right now. And I think it's because of laughing like I don't do sit ups. I just laugh and it's often people are like, how do you get good abs? I'm like, I don't know. weight goes to my butt. And I just laugh and my stomach is pretty jacked. I have no idea why except for laughter. Blast. But you too can have a six pack if you laugh.

Christine Li:

So my six pack is coming. I'm just yeah,

Shelby Stanger:

it's going just keep laughing. Okay, lovely.

Unknown:

I love all this. Can

Christine Li:

we talk about what you're writing about? And what your next project is? Is that top secret

Shelby Stanger:

is a little top secret. But I'm really trying to figure out like how do we take this wild idea and make it a reality? Like what are the steps kind of just what I talked to you that's what I'm going to write about as I'm really fascinated by people who have taken this unique road and what's cool is, you know, very few people take traditional routes anymore. It's becoming more commonplace to go on traditional and, you know, to hike the Pacific Crest Trail or hike the Appalachian Trail or I don't know there's so many people have told me that I've helped them quit their job or divorce her husband I'm like, oh god, I don't know if that's a good thing. Some people have told them I've helped them fall in love. And I've actually been responsible for like six marriages, which is really cool. But, and my last name is Stanger. So like you know how there's the Millionaire Matchmaker. With Patti Stanger, I was going to start the middle class matchmaker. Shelby Stanger. But yeah, that's what I'm working on. I'm trying to figure it out. But I can't really talk about it. Because I heard if you put your, your mouth on it, you don't always write it. So like someone told me don't put your mouth on it.

Christine Li:

You can write whenever you want. Yeah.

Unknown:

Sounds good.

Christine Li:

You write whenever it comes to you, at every moment that it comes to you. Yeah, I love it. My philosophy is really just everything is potential play. Yep. And even the hard things. So let's go tackle those hard things. I

Shelby Stanger:

love that. And then I'm just working on vitamin two, I'm interested in guests like you who have found these little bite sized recipes to help us have so much more joy in our life, and they're free. You don't have to pay all this money, you don't have to go to a spa, you can just do them. And you've given me so many tactics that are like little vitamins of joy. I love that.

Unknown:

Thank you.

Christine Li:

Thank you. I know that we also talked about green lighting, your wild idea? Could you explain green lighting and what your thoughts are there?

Shelby Stanger:

Yeah. You know, before Matthew McConaughey had this book called green lights. And I had a friend named Brogan Graham, who runs something called the November project. It's like a running group around the world. And they do free fitness workouts. And it's so cool. And I was struggling with kind of what I was doing next. And he's like, Shelby, I want you to write down. What if it looked like if every thing you were trying to do was a green light, and you hit no red lights in what you were doing. And I wrote it out. And I was like, you know, I have this podcast, it'd be funded, I'd feel really healthy, my little Lego would be cured. And I just kind of wrote it out. And like all of them started coming. Very true. So greenlining, your wild ideas? What is it that you want to do in your life? It's not really a goal. It's like, what do you want to do? What do you want to have in your relationship? What if you hit no red light? What would your life look like? And you just kind of steamrolled and went forward ahead. So I have been helping people, greenlight their wild ideas, and there's a little bit of a process. Eventually, I'll teach another class on it. But it's interesting, you know, one girl came to the class and was like, my wild ideas to be your assistant. And I was like, Oh, God, I don't even have an assistant. I don't have time to manage someone. And she like, kept on me and emailed me. And I was like, okay, you will be my assistant, I would love to have an assistant. And I'm paying her to help me out now. And it's been great. So you just never know.

Christine Li:

So shall be on that topic of getting an assistant from out of nowhere. Could you tell us your thoughts about how the universe may or may not be cooperating with us and our wild ideas?

Shelby Stanger:

Yeah, I think when you want to do something positive, that scary universe will help you out. And when you don't listen, the signs will get louder and kind of painful. So like one time, I needed to quit my job, get help for depression breakup with a boyfriend. And I didn't listen. And so Things just got harder and harder and harder. on time. I found myself in such crappy traffic. There was a semi truck overturned across five lanes a highway on the 101 different examples when I started my podcast, and I loved it. People like lined up to help. I mean, I pitch people for sponsorship, they didn't all say yes, but the yeses got a lot easier when I kept going. And it was just a sign that it was working. The other day, I was surfing and there was a girl in the water and another guy and the guy was like, Hey, what's your name? And I was like, shall be staying. And I never say my last name. And he was like, that's her last name. And I was like, No, it isn't. What's your last name? I figured you'd spell differently, or it was a different name lost in translation. Turns out i'd serve from their father in Costa Rica. His last name is literally Stanger. He's from New York. And he's from the same town my dad grew up in. And I've been wondering about my dad and kind of wanting to make some sort of contact with him. And I met a medium at a friend's house. And I know like, I'm not one to kind of talk to a medium, but she was really cool. She said, She's like a fifth generation medium. And I asked her, I said, How do you see people in your life that you know, passed on? And she's like, well, they're always there helping you. But they will not make themselves visible unless you ask for it. And I kind of put it out there. Like, I wonder what my dad would think of my life. And it literally see a guy surfing with me from New York with the last name of Stanger, who kind of looks like my dad and his family. And you know, we're probably distant cousins. And it was just so special and cool. So the universe is always there for us. And that sounds like hippy mumbo jumbo but every adventure I've interviewed, like, they have signs from the universe and divine intervention somewhere whether you're Jewish, Christian, Muslim, Hindu, you don't believe in anything like, I believe in divine energy intervention. Something is there helping us along when we move the direction we're meant to go.

Christine Li:

I think the mini lesson I'm taking is that you don't even have to believe in anything but you don't have to tolerate things that feel painful to you. Those are messages that you need to get on and fix. I

Shelby Stanger:

agree. 100%. So like when things are painful, you got to make a change and making a change is scary. But I will tell you what's scarier is indecision. indecision is like hell, it's Limbo and not knowing what you're doing is probably the worst place to be in ever. I've, I'm very slow to make decisions. And I've been in limbo so many times in my life. And those are the times when I feel the worst. I call it like dropping in on a wave. You don't know when you take off on a wave. If you're going to fall and eat absolute crap. You might catch the ride of your life. But it is always better to paddle and go and experience something rather than sitting on the beach and getting sunburned.

Christine Li:

Beautiful, I think we're gonna all catch our next wave. Thanks to you and this interview. So thank you for sharing your joy with us today. It's been so much fun listening to you and talking with you. Can you tell our listeners how they can stay in touch with you and perhaps work with you?

Shelby Stanger:

Yeah, thank you. I have a website Shelby stanger.com. I have a podcast course. I have consultation sessions. And I've podcast vitamin joy and wild ideas worth living. Vitamin joy. Season Two is launching with the first show with Christine Li so you should all listen to that one. And yeah, I'd love to connect him. I'm also on Instagram at Shelby Stanger. I'm really not anywhere else but Instagrams place I play.

Christine Li:

We both love Instagram. So thank you Salvy. It's been a pleasure. Awesome. Thank you for listening to this episode of The make time for success podcast. If you enjoyed what you heard, you can subscribe to make sure you get notified of upcoming episodes. You can also visit our website make time for success podcast.com for past episodes, show notes and all the resources we mentioned on the show. Feel free to connect with me over on Instagram too. You can find me there under the name procrastination coach. Send me a DM and let me know what your thoughts are about the episodes you've been listening to. And let me know any topics that you might like me to talk about on the show. I'd love to hear all about how you're making time for success. Talk to you soon.

Shelby Stanger

Top-Ranked Podcaster and Storyteller

Shelby Stanger is no stranger to fueling her wildest ideas. A seasoned journalist and top-ranked podcaster, Shelby Stanger’s work and podcasts have been featured everywhere from The New York Times and The San Diego Union Tribune to Outside Magazine, ESPN and the cover of Apple Podcasts. Curious about her subjects and willing to go to great lengths in her research, Shelby has surfed from New Jersey to New Zealand, studied with a breath guru, fasted for six days on only water, paddled down a portion of the Amazon River, and interviewed countless CEOs, athletes, and wellness experts on assignment for major publications. With a knack for audio stories, Shelby created and sold her first podcast about adventure called Wild Ideas Worth Living to REI Co-Op in 2020 (she remains the host) and recently hosted an award-winning travel show for Lufthansa called Life Changing Places. Her latest project, Vitamin Joy, has a standout crew of guests, offering prescriptions for having more health, humor and fun in everyday lives.